We Are The Kids Of War And Peace

You know how everyone tells you friends drift apart after high school no matter how close? It's a weird thing when you realize how true that statement is. I suppose not all friends drift, but it does happen alot of the time. I suppose that's true for alot of friendships, but I'm noticing now that your closest friends during high school may not be so close after.

You can be so close with someone for so long, and then something happens. No matter how little or insignificant you may think it is at the time- that something starts a ripple effect, and before you know it, everything's different. It may take a bigger event to show you just what's been going on, and how far apart you've drifted already, but at some point, or you may just notice it on your own. It doesn't matter how or when- but at some point, you will notice it.

I keep saying 'you', however, this is obviously a reflection of my thoughts, so maybe I should be saying 'I', but I'm speaking in general terms, so I'll just continue on with the 'you.' Back on topic...

So the question becomes: When you finally DO notice it... should you try to salvage the friendships or should you just continue on the way you are and let yourself drift? Was the friendship worth saving at all?

It's a difficult question to answer. You'll start to notice things that may never have bothered you much about the person bother you alot now. You may question their morals, their ethics, and wonder if that's even the type of person you want to associate with. However, the bit that makes it hard is that there's already that strong bond between you. It pulls you in completely opposite directions, making the decision quite hard. You may even hate alot of things about that person, but at the same time... you still care about them alot.

Maybe you're just scared to let the friendship drift apart any further because you don't want to know what it's like to not be friends with that person. Maybe they've been there for you through some of the most difficult things in your life and done nothing but support you through it all. Maybe they helped you come out of your shell. Introduced you to new people, new things, opened your eyes to something you never would have bothered with before. And maybe you feel guilty for hating things about that person- resenting them, and feel like they deserve the same thing from you... not total abandonment and allowing things to become too far gone to salvage.

But at the same time... how can you be friends with someone whose values, ethics, morals, and beliefs are the polar opposite of yours and you find them completely ignorant, narrow-minded, blind, and possibly even cruel? When you're taking 2 completely opposite paths with your lives? When one of you chooses to go fight a war, and the other wants nothing more than to stop it. And I guess politics can make or break a friendship- I know that sounds weird, but it really can matter in some cases. When that person won't ever tell you what's wrong so you can fix things. When you feel unwanted when with that person sometimes. When you feel that things have been wrong for a while and you aren't sure if that other person has seen it or not, and if they have- why they're just ignoring it? Have they already made up their mind? When you feel that you can't even talk to them about this subject- not completely and not honestly, and not just because you're scared... but because you don't know if the person will tell you everything either.

There are so many things to be taken into consideration when faced with this decision, and you HAVE to choose to go one way or the other. It's not the type of situation you can just let go and whatever happens- happens. When a part of you feels like you owe the person for always being a good friend before the drift started and you want to be able to be there for them through their problems and stand by them like they stood by you; another part of you hates certain things about that person and they may even completely disgust you and you feel guilty for feeling that.

And through all this rambling, I've come to realize that I still don't know. In the end, I guess Green Day has said it best. We really ARE the kids of war and peace.
Posted on April 2nd, 2007 at 02:34am

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