I don't need help. I don't need help I don't need help. but does it make it true?
So, I've never written one of these and I don't expect anyone to read this. it's more for myself.
Today:
Was okay. Stephanie brushed up against all of my cuts and almost made be cry. She apologized like crazy. Jadi bit me really hard and made me want to punch her.
I got 4 hours of sleep at night, and stayed up all day. When I got home my mom yelled at me because I took too long to get home. Then I got shots, just like every week, then went and stood in the return line at wal*mart where I got the pleasure of being stared at by everyone for 45 minutes. When I finally got home, I fell asleep and got yelled at for doing so.
Yesterday:
I cried for about an hour. I told myself a thousand time about how I was such a failure, about how I'm so fat. I cried when I thought about leaving school next year, and then stayed up till 1:45 AM getting my history grade to a B.
Tonight:
I just got out of the shower, after cutting up and down my wrists. "attempt" is the key word. Attempted suicide. I cried some more, and school sucked ass. Ian is being so mean.
I know that there are 3 kinds of people on GSB.
1:Ohmygosh are you okay. These people are nice. they understand.
2: "attention grubber". They will say you are stupid, and you have no reason to cut as long as your alie, and healthy
3: leave, your not welcome. People who will call you names because yo uadmit you cut.
I don't care what you say.
(pm me?)
Today:
Was okay. Stephanie brushed up against all of my cuts and almost made be cry. She apologized like crazy. Jadi bit me really hard and made me want to punch her.
I got 4 hours of sleep at night, and stayed up all day. When I got home my mom yelled at me because I took too long to get home. Then I got shots, just like every week, then went and stood in the return line at wal*mart where I got the pleasure of being stared at by everyone for 45 minutes. When I finally got home, I fell asleep and got yelled at for doing so.
Yesterday:
I cried for about an hour. I told myself a thousand time about how I was such a failure, about how I'm so fat. I cried when I thought about leaving school next year, and then stayed up till 1:45 AM getting my history grade to a B.
Tonight:
I just got out of the shower, after cutting up and down my wrists. "attempt" is the key word. Attempted suicide. I cried some more, and school sucked ass. Ian is being so mean.
I know that there are 3 kinds of people on GSB.
1:Ohmygosh are you okay. These people are nice. they understand.
2: "attention grubber". They will say you are stupid, and you have no reason to cut as long as your alie, and healthy
3: leave, your not welcome. People who will call you names because yo uadmit you cut.
I don't care what you say.
(pm me?)
Stop cutting, it only makes things worse. You're not a failure. I've told myself that before, but deep down somewhere I know that it isn't true. I'm sure it isn't true for you either. Give things time and do your best to avoid bad things from entering your life because it's clear you don't need it.
threeam., May 10th, 2007 at 06:28:14pm
I kinda agree with Ballroom Blitz....
I can understand your feelings when it comes to the cut crap.
But...
Ummm.... it is kinda attention-y when you are on here expecting people to feel sorry for you.
Yeah..
You need to work on that.
*Death*Do*Us*Part*, May 10th, 2007 at 03:36:05pm
i totally agree with love.
Ensiferum, May 10th, 2007 at 01:35:47pm
you shouldn't tell youself you were a failure. you aren't.
you're only 13 years old. you're still growing up, your life still has to "develop"
take a piece of paper and write down 3 things that you like about yourself. maybe you like your eyes, or you like your drawing skills, or how you achieved a B in history, or you like how you can listen to people or anything that comes to your mind.
And every day you can add something to your list.
you have to learn to accept yourself the way you are. And you have to learn to not let everyone affect you like that and make you sad.
with a list like that you can start feeling more comfrotable about yourself.
and please stop hurting youself. take a pupet and tick needles in its body. hurt a teddy, or whatever. just never hurt yourself anymore.
if you need someone to talk to, someone to listen, or someone for advice, or just to chat, feel free to PM me.
*hugs*
Love, May 10th, 2007 at 09:57:06am
i wish i could help you in some way :( *hugs*
PaNcAkEs, May 10th, 2007 at 07:15:38am
Well I'm not so sure what to say to that but stop cutting. D:
It's just not good. ]:
Skippy., May 10th, 2007 at 02:52:30am
I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't bleed enough. I couldn't cut deep enough.
I'm a failure.
Sydney Cloud, May 10th, 2007 at 01:17:28am
um.
k
so, you attempted suicide as of like..2 hours ago
and you're here, telling people?
...k.
Sara., May 10th, 2007 at 01:15:05am