Contemplation of Our Mortality.

Ok so it's been 4 months and exactly 6 days. My grandmother passed on Feb. 22nd and the experience literally ripped my heart out and stepped on it. The last day I saw her, I immediately started to cry. Being as incoherent as she was that day, she looked up at me with that confused look on her face. She just couldn't breathe so I didn't have her try to speak. The priest came into the hospital room with my family and I and he gave my grandmother her last rights. We all started to leave. I gave her a kiss and said, "I love you grandma" and she knew exactly what I was saying because she looked up at me and smiled. It wasn't even the beginning of a new day when my mom called my father and said, "...She died" It was 11:25 at night. As soon as my dad told me the news, it all hit me like a whirlpool and I absently blacked out. We drove to the hospital and stayed there until 1 or 2. I was so devastated beyond belief. I held her hand and kissed her forehead. "I love you grandma" were my last words. I recorded funeral songs with my cousins new recording system the night before the wake. I had three copies made and I played the C.D at the funeral. If I don't say so myself, the music was really nice and I will never regret it. My grandmother was always my biggest fan when it came to me singing or musically performing at any occasion. I was so happy that I accomplished the whole singing deal just for my grandmother. She even said she always wanted me to sing at her funeral. Like a ton of people who have experienced this say, death of a loved one really makes you contemplate of your own mortality. For me being 15 and maintaining a good composure through this has made me a stronger person. I now pray more than I ever did because I believe that praying makes my grandmother come back to life in full spirit and I will never stop it. I love you grandma, I know you can hear me. I hope to see you one day so I can fly with you forever.<33

I just needed to get this out, because it was bothering me. I always feel the need to be open with my sadness, usually people don't like that. I hope this isn't stupid for people to read. Molly
Posted on May 27th, 2007 at 03:33pm

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