The park bench heartbeat is where I wanna be.

So if you really want to understand this, read my last blog.

I met Trevor in the 6th grade. He was just a small guy who sat in the back and constantly had the flu.

I didn't really know him untill Junior High. He shot right up to a fairly tall hight, and had grown so pale it was hard to believe it was summer. We went to our first dance together, wearing overly formal thrift store suits. He used to stare at me for like 5 minutes. When I asked him why he'd just say "umm... I saw someone I thought I knew over your shoulder!"

Eighth grade year I had a crush on him. We had spent the previous summer between sleepovers at eachother's houses. He was so sweet to me. He'd give me hugs and brush his lips so gently on my cheek and apologize like it was an accident. He used to take me to this park at midnight, throwing rocks at my window. That's where I first kissed him. I put my arm around him one night at that park. He look in my eyes.
I avoided his. His lips pressed on mine.

We went steady for the rest of eighth. Every weekend we would go to that park and just watch poeple. watch eachother. One night we were sitting there, I had my hand on his chest. "Your alive" I said. "what do you mean?" Trevor asked me "Your heartbeat!"

At the begining of this school year, he went to the mall to meet me with his mom at like.. 7 ish. The plan was to drop him off at the mall and he'd go home with me.
He and his mom got in the car and driving down the street the passenger's side got rammed.

His mom broke both legs, her collar bone, and her right arm.

Trevor didn't survive.
They called me on my cell phone around 8 thirty while I was sitting at the mall.
I threw my phone on the ground, shattering it.

All I remember is running.
Running a mile straight, as fast I could.
Running to the park.

I slept on our bench. No one bothered me. I wanted to feel it again. His heart was there, I knew it.

How could someone take it away?