My Mum, My Friend, My Inspiration.

Because my Dad did everything he could to try and make my Mum to feel as "normal" as possible, when I was younger, it took a while for me to realise that my Mum wasn't the same as everyone elses and I just assumed that everyone's Mum was blind, like mine.

I remember the first time I went round my friends house, and when I was walking to her house with her Mum I kept saying "Step up" everytime there was a step and "slow" evertime we came to the end of the path, and I couldn't understand why she was looking at me funnily.

My Mum hasn't always been blind, it happened just when she developed Retenits Pigmontosa when she became pregnant with me. The doctor said that Mum could have some pills to delay the sight loss for a few years or so...but if she took the medicine, it would kill me. And, as I'm alive and typing this, I think you know what decision she made. Her sight began failing soon after and she slowly also developed Macula Degeneration, meaning that 3 years on, she couldn't even tell light from dark.

Many people ask if it's wierd, having to describe everything to her, and help her with everything, but it isn't as bad as everyone thinks. Firstly, for as long as I can remember she's been blind, so I naturally run to help her, whereas Dad knew her before she went blind, so he sometimes, even now, forgets. Secondly, Mum makes everything as easy on us as she can. You'd think, if anyone needed help it would be her, but even the way she is, she still puts us first.

When she went blind, no one would let her work for them, so she lost her job and Dad had to give up his job too, to be her carer. To add to her problems, she also has very bad asthma and in 1995 had to be rushed into hospital as she'd stopped breathing.

But is this woman after sympathy? No! She continues to try and be as independant as she can, and even though she can't drive me to places or play games with me, she is still the best Mum I could ever wish for.

Although this means we can't change the layout of a room, or leave things on the floor, Mum can now find her way around the house, and as long is everything is left where it is, she can get herself dressed, showered and her newest 'trick' is that she can get herself outside the house and into her chair in the garden. This may sound like a really stupid achievement, but after years of trying, it really means a lot.

Even though, in a normal week she never really comes with us anywhere apart from Sainsbury's and the town, we've got her to come on day trips with us...to Warwick Castle and the Beach, where as years ago she wouldn't leave the house, as she instisted that if she couldn't see anyone else, why should they be allowed to see her?

To me, her needs come first, not just before mine, but also everyone elses. I'd never dream of going out and leaving her if she ever wanted anything or leaving her if Dad wasn't in. If I told someone that I couldn't meet them because I was looking after my Mum, and they laughed and took the piss (as many have done) then I know they are not worth any of my time. Even if I'm just staying in to talk to her, that's Ok, because what else can she do? She can't watch anything or go out shopping, or use the computer, and yet she still continues to make the most of what she can do.


Another shock though, is that we found out that the disease is genetic...meaning there's roughly a 50% chance of me going blind too. Although I would rather do anything than going blind, as I've seen the changes myself, if I did, I would be so impressed with myself if I was only half as amazing as my Mum is. Even though in the first few years she struggled a lot, she's changed into the most wonderful, brave and inspirational woman.

Only the other day, I found this on her Myspace:

"I have lived in 2 different worlds ... the first part of my life was spent in the normal "seeing" world and this latter part I am living in the darkened world of the blind.

It wasn't my fault (honest!) ... I didn't do anything wrong ... I just "lost" my sight (silly me!) ... so why did I feel as though I had somehow failed in life? Maybe because sight is a fundemental sense that we all take so much for granted ... I felt cheated, robbed of everything that I treasured. Then, one day I woke up and realised that hey "I'm Alive" and no matter the things that I can't do, there are still so many things that I can achieve. I am not going to say that my blindness doesn't bother me (hey, what do you think!) ... "Hell yeah" of course it does ... but I am not going to let it stop me living the rest of my life and enjoying myself along the way! So instead of hiding away in my house (as I did for the first couple of years, no joke!) I am breaking out and, as the song says, "let your song be heard, Skybird" so here I am singing my song at the top of my voice loud enough for everyone in this wonderful world to hear!"


Reading that made me realise that all these times when I thought I had problems are completley unimportant, compared to what some people have to go though.

She's been through more than most people and yet she's come out of the other end smiling.

Mum, I love you more than you'll ever know, you truly are an inspiration.