Breaking Hearts.
I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 4 months. His name is Jamie Scott Naylor, and he was damn well one of the best boyfriends a girl could ask for. He never pressured me to get into bed with him, he listened to my girly rants, and put up with my mood swings. We sat and talked for hours and never ran out of things to say.
But things change. Feelings change. People change.
After four months that seemed to fly by, full of pure bliss, I woke up one morning and decided it just wasn’t right. I didn’t love him. I was leading him on into something more tragic than what I decided to do. I had to end it. But just before Christmas…?
He noticed on Friday, the day before Christmas break, that I was acting funny. He told me he loved me, and I couldn’t look him in the eye and say the same. I couldn’t lie to this little piece of heaven sitting in front of me. But how was I supposed to explain to him that deep down things just weren’t the same. That the spark that lighted us both was fading in me. I couldn’t break his heart. He did nothing wrong.
I told him that I had some things to think about. So for about three days I let him sit their, miserable, waiting to see if his girlfriend was going to stay with him. I was disgusted with myself, how could I let him just sit their? He cared about me so much that he waited for me. The fact that I didn’t feel the same and already put him through this much pain was a sign to me. I had to end it.
The phone call was terrible. I would have drove to his house but he was on holiday up in the mountains. I’d never hear his voice so weak and his breaths so shallow. I broke his heart.
“When I said that I’ll love you forever, I meant it.” He said quietly and than hung up.
I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can hardly breathe. He didn’t deserve this pain, but I just couldn’t be with him any longer and lie to him about what I felt towards him. He’s a great boy, he really is. Someday I know that he s going to meet a girl who blows him out of the water and he’ll stay with that girl until they reach heaven. He deserves it more than me. He deserves it more than anyone.
Breaking hearts. It’s all I seem to do anymore. 10 years from now I don’t know where I’ll be, I don’t know where he’ll be. But one thing I do know, is that I care about him and the fact that I made his Christmas a living hell, will haunt me for more than just a few days.
Jamie Scott Naylor, I was to apologize for taking away something that you cherished so much. You deserve better.
awww man. that sucks. im sorry for both of you. its a terrible position to be in when something like that comes up. i hope both you will be okay. ;[
whatashame, December 26th, 2007 at 05:12:54pm
aww tears in my eyes. ;(
rollerpig, December 25th, 2007 at 09:14:04pm
Why dont you love him?
justcurious..
ChanynxDespondent, December 25th, 2007 at 03:05:47am
I'm sorry...
but in time things will make more sense and you'll both accept it more. It's hard for both of you, but nothing lasts forever. You'll find someone that you'll always love no matter what. You're right about one thing though.. things change.
threeam., December 25th, 2007 at 12:56:23am