I'll let my thoughts play around
I look up at your face; you are taller than me. You will always be taller than me. I watch your friends standing a few metres away; they're all holding a bottle of beer. They are people living such a different life from mine. I am so young, I am so fragile. I haven't tried my wings yet. I'm not ready to fly. You're one of them, I'm not. I could never last for being yours, you could never sacrifice enough to be mine. The chill wind hits us both, we are both here, this is real. You're so close, yet so far.
Mostly, you are threehundred kilometres away, living in your own apartment, getting successful and famous, while I'm in a town barely existing on the map, yet to stay in this house for a couple of years more, longing for a life like yours. I don't understand your life or your world. I don't know where you go when I'm not there.
But I'm quite fine off this way. I may always be in love with the thought of loving you, the thought of our meetings may always give me goosebumps. I may always be in love with letting my glance burn your back with happy looks. I may always be in love with giving you these only friend-hugs. I may always be in love with secretly breathing in your scent. Listening to your voice speaking in my earphones may always bring a smile to my face and happy butterflies in my stomach.
I know I sound naive... but when else am I going to be fourteen, silly and love struck? I'm taking my chance right now, because it feels pretty damn amazing. It's great writing pointless blogs like this about how much something inside me yearns for you, it's amazing dreaming of you at nights. Whenever I want to, I can stop being grown-up and mature and think of you - isn't it great being stuck between naive and knowing it all? - and whenever I want to I can bring my conscience to the surface and realize it'll never come true. But it won't hurt like real love should. I know I'm just letting my thoughts play around; I'm aware of it and I sort of like it. Because when else could I take my chance of being naive? This is what I want now, that is why I'll do it now. Soon I'll want to get mature again; I will think of you and her and be happy for you, I will think of hugging you but not by any chance in the world going further, I will think of you as a friend. I'm fine with being only friends. I'll let my thoughts play around when I want them to.
Mostly, you are threehundred kilometres away, living in your own apartment, getting successful and famous, while I'm in a town barely existing on the map, yet to stay in this house for a couple of years more, longing for a life like yours. I don't understand your life or your world. I don't know where you go when I'm not there.
But I'm quite fine off this way. I may always be in love with the thought of loving you, the thought of our meetings may always give me goosebumps. I may always be in love with letting my glance burn your back with happy looks. I may always be in love with giving you these only friend-hugs. I may always be in love with secretly breathing in your scent. Listening to your voice speaking in my earphones may always bring a smile to my face and happy butterflies in my stomach.
I know I sound naive... but when else am I going to be fourteen, silly and love struck? I'm taking my chance right now, because it feels pretty damn amazing. It's great writing pointless blogs like this about how much something inside me yearns for you, it's amazing dreaming of you at nights. Whenever I want to, I can stop being grown-up and mature and think of you - isn't it great being stuck between naive and knowing it all? - and whenever I want to I can bring my conscience to the surface and realize it'll never come true. But it won't hurt like real love should. I know I'm just letting my thoughts play around; I'm aware of it and I sort of like it. Because when else could I take my chance of being naive? This is what I want now, that is why I'll do it now. Soon I'll want to get mature again; I will think of you and her and be happy for you, I will think of hugging you but not by any chance in the world going further, I will think of you as a friend. I'm fine with being only friends. I'll let my thoughts play around when I want them to.
Nice.
Skippy., September 3rd, 2008 at 04:40:08am
wow. that's so amazing.
I can really relate to this.
< 3
Bubble Wrap., September 1st, 2008 at 09:05:24pm
o_o
it's like you're describing my life D:
hollywood tragedy., September 1st, 2008 at 08:32:46pm
Woah.
That was so.. o___o.
I can't think of a word that's greater than beautiful.
threeam., September 1st, 2008 at 07:45:11pm
that was so beautiful.
<3
toybox trash, September 1st, 2008 at 05:11:56pm