Come ease the pain that's in my heart...

Okay, so I’m not one to be superstitious, but what I’m about to explain is really all I have to hold onto now in hope that my dream will one day come true.

So on another Green Day fan site I’m on, there’s this member and she’s been a fan for 15 years. I knew before she’s pretty much a huge fan and has had some run-ins with the band (in a good way); I messaged her for some advice as to whether my project is a good idea and if they’ll even get it through the system I’ll send it through. I’m currently working on a letter to Green Day and I might also be giving them a small wood carving; if it pulls off, I’ll post pictures, naturally.

Anyway, what I got back from her was nothing I could ever have imagined. She heard Basket Case in ’94 the rest is history. She’s spoken to Bill Schneider, Jason Chandler and John Roecker (all of whom speak to the band regularly) and gets a lot of info from a man in their UK management team and a person that works at the American embassy and deals with work visas for American artists. She claims it’s luck. She also informed me that her “next adventure” is a trip to Las Vegas to meet Mike's sister, cousins, and Billie's brother and sister. I couldn’t believe it, I was astonished. At the end she said “I can’t believe my own luck sometimes”. But is it luck, really? She does go to a hell of a lot of shows and is very active on Idiot Club and the fan site’s she’s on and knows all the mods for them (I guess it helps she’s unemployed with this, as I explained I’m a student and simply don’t have the time nor the money to follow them around on tour, as much as I’d love to.)

The reason why I’m writing Green Day a letter is because of one simple reason; I honestly don’t think I’m ever going to meet them. Ever. Call me a pessimist (because I very much am) but the chances are so slim, they seem light years away from me and I’d probably screw up and say something stupid anyway. So thats why I want to write them a letter so I have the time and am in the right mindset to say what I've wanted to tell them for years, how they got me through a health crisis and are everything I am today and continue to be. But last night, I had a dream, a very long one.

I was in town with my friend and walking past this hall/school/venue place we see a big long queue of people standing around and chatting. I approached a group and say “Excuse me, what’re you lining up for?” and an excited hyper girl replies “Billie Joe’s in there, we’re going to meet him!” and squealed with the rest of her friends. My jaw was on the floor. So we immediately joined the queue and waited until we got to the front to the entrance doors.

We walked inside and I saw Billie sitting on one of the chairs, looking around nervously. My heart sank. My friend and I take a seat and wait. Everyone is called up by name and sits next to him, talks, takes pictures and leaves on a high that will never cease to part. It felt more like an awful talk show than a Meet and Greet for fans; people were poking fun at every sentence that was said either by the fan or Billie and the whole crowd laughed along. I couldn’t stand it and left, went home and complained about how I didn’t get to meet him.

Presumably the next day I’m back in town, and there’s another M&G opportunity. I join a much smaller queue and get to a woman with a clipboard in no time. I ask her how much it is “40 pounds”. “40 pounds!?” My stomach felt like it had been kicked. “Oh no, I don’t have that!” I quickly get my phone out and try to ring Emma but its engaged. The woman softly says “It’s okay, you can pay after”.

I wobbily walk in, and there are very few people in the seating this time. Billie is still sat in the same seat as the previous day, but he looks happier than yesterday. I walk over to an older man who I ask if I have to sit down, and he tells me “Not yet.” I sit on the stage behind me with a pro-series digital camera, put my hand on the lens and zoom in on the fan who’s sitting and chatting with him and take a picture; you never know, I thought, the girl might be so caught up in the aura of meeting her idol that she may forget to capture the moment; a moment that will no doubt stay with her forever. They shake hands and smile and the girl leaves.

The announcer says my full name which echoes around the hall. My stomach and legs turn to mush. I walk across the floor where my footsteps echo and up and across to the seat next to Billie’s. He grins, I sit, we start to talk and my dream slowly fades as if to say “the rest is history”.

Now, like I said, I don’t go by dreams or superstition-y stuff at all, but perhaps this dream evokes the meaning that I have to be patient and wait for my dream to come true. Sure, it probably just came from my psyche of late events of talking and thinking about it, but you never know, eh? With the position I’m in, as I mentioned earlier, that’s all I have to hold onto right now.
Posted on July 27th, 2009 at 07:04am


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