No One's Laughing at God.

Growing up, I didn't have a religion at all, I grew up agnostic, to say the least, and I continued in those beliefs up until now. When I moved to where i'm currently living, I was thrown into a whole new type of world. I live in the "buckle of the bible belt" in other words, we have the most churches per capita than any other place in the world. So of course I was the weird agnostic kid, and that didn't bother me, because frankly, I didn't know any better. Now that i've gotten a taste of everything else, it kind of fascinates me, the way people can put all their faith into something that could possibly all be fake. That's what scares me the most, i've been let down so much in my life, I don't want to put everything i have into something, and then be let down completely. I have a friend (whom most of you know about already, since I talk about him lots) and when I first met him, he was a total anti-christ. After a year of not talking to him, and then starting to talk to him again, I found out that he's completely christian, it shocked me, actually. But the fact that he, someone who was in the same boat as I am now, could make a come around like that, inspired me. I'm not saying I want to go out full on bible thumper, but I want to at least try. I read a book that made me think about religion a lot more, it changed my perspective on a lot of the doubts I had. One of these doubts was "how can i trust something/one that can let people go through so much pain, that can let horrible things happen to someone" and in the book it stated (via 'god' saying this) "I don't cause the bad things, I'm not the one that made this. It was fault of humans that did this, people's own will. It wasn't an act of myself." That was my main worry, but this perspective made me think a bit more in less of blaming god, and blaming mankind.

I don't want to be the kid that gets so fucked up and ends up having to turn to god to fix everything. So maybe I can turn to god before anything too bad happens to me, maybe it's worth a try? I'm not too sure. At this point, I have nothing, so there's nothing there to lose from trying this out. Maybe something good will happen, maybe i'll feel bad for never trying to be christian beforehand. I don't know, but anything is worth a try.
Posted on October 11th, 2009 at 02:07am


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