at the very bottom of everything
The truth is I miss it. Had the circumstances been slightly different maybe I wouldn't have to miss it. I try so hard to act like I don't care anymore. Then I catch a memory. Something not riddled with hurt. And the most alive I felt was when I hurt you. And I'm bitter as hell that I don't even get to really miss you. I don't love you and as bad as this sounds I wish I still did. I wanted to cry over you, I wanted to be so riddled with regret that I couldn't make my self wake up. I missed two days of school after we broke up. And not even for you, because I had a cold. Honestly I only want two things. To have never called you, or to have every person who pried into this never care about it.
Every time I get the mail I want you to have sent me something.
Every time chris calls me at exactly 9PM I want it to be you.
Every time I go to postsecret I want one to be from you.
Every time people talk about their love I wish I could say I still love you. but I don't.
It's not fair. I need t hold up in my room crying for days, Listen to depressing music, and look at something you sent me and remember something nice about you.
Nearly a month later I hate whats happened. I lied. I hate you. I hate you for ever saying you love me, for ever calling me muffin, for calling me your Texas Adie, and I hate me for ever trusting you.
Every time I get the mail I want you to have sent me something.
Every time chris calls me at exactly 9PM I want it to be you.
Every time I go to postsecret I want one to be from you.
Every time people talk about their love I wish I could say I still love you. but I don't.
It's not fair. I need t hold up in my room crying for days, Listen to depressing music, and look at something you sent me and remember something nice about you.
Nearly a month later I hate whats happened. I lied. I hate you. I hate you for ever saying you love me, for ever calling me muffin, for calling me your Texas Adie, and I hate me for ever trusting you.
meh, i feel hate because i love her but she doesnt love me back
DingDongDhavee, December 23rd, 2009 at 11:25:15am
idk it's not even that I have love for her.
Hate I do have.
I kinda hate her because I can't love her any more.
nadroj, December 23rd, 2009 at 11:19:07am
ah don't be sorry guys,
Your not the ones who need to be sorry =/
nadroj, December 23rd, 2009 at 10:59:03am
I know how you feel :( cept i got rejected. it feels really weird as if you hate them but you still love them?
DingDongDhavee, December 23rd, 2009 at 10:58:51am
Sounds confusing :/
I'm sorry.
Skippy., December 23rd, 2009 at 05:33:44am
:/
awww, i'm sorry, jordie.
i really don't know what else to say.
except you'll come out stronger because of this.
with the bad comes the good, i guess.
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dorian gray., December 22nd, 2009 at 06:06:37pm