Balancing Acts 2

Board index - Stories

Author	Message
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 03:05pm I thought I'd share my favourite news story of the day with you: A Chinese girl has lost her memory after being struck by a falling pregnant tortoise as she walked with her aunt along a street. Unsuspecting 12-year-old Cheng Cheng was struck by the plummeting creature as she walked with her aunt Ling Lang in Chongqing, central China. KUTV reports that the owner of a grocery store who witnessed the incident said Cheng was hit by a falling black object travelling at speed and fell to the ground unconscious. When he ran over, he realised the object was a tortoise. According to Metro, a police spokesman said: "Given the force of the blow, this tortoise must have been thrown from a reasonable height. We have questioned 16 flat owners all of whom have denied responsibility." KUTV reports the injured girl's father, Liu Xingbing, said: "I am furious at this irresponsible behaviour. If I do not have a confession from the guilty tortoise thrower I will sue everybody in the building." Although the tortoise initially survived the fall, it later died from its injuries. It has been frozen and is being examined while police continue to question residents in a nearby apartment building. Carnage for all of tortoise kind. You can't make this stuff up.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 03:07pm He's going to sue everyone in the building? Hahahaha. Good luck mate.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 03:12pm Yep rather him than me. Can you imagine being a friend of the family being told she was hit by a falling tortoise? I'd be looking for the cameras and the tv crew.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 03:14pm Hahaha, watch out, Beadle's about...well...in spirit.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 03:21pm Ah Jeremy Beadle, what a guy.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 03:34pm You've been framed hasn't been the same since.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 03:34pm I havn't watched it for years. Stopped watching when that gobby fat woman was the presenter. I wanna say Lisa someone? Dunno, but she was annoying as hell.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 03:41pm Lisa Riley. And yes, she was very gobby and very fat and not very good.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 03:48pm That's the one. What a moo.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 03:50pm What happened to her? Harry Hill does it now doesn't he? Bah, I haven't got anything for dinner and nothing's open now. =[
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 03:55pm No idea! I'd forgotten all about it until you mentioned Mr Beadle! I had sausages and cheesy mash. Mmmmmm.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 04:00pm All right, don't rub it in. The only places open now are fast food places and I had chinese last night so I'm gonna get super morbidly obese if I have takeaway again. BAAAAAAAAAAH.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 04:02pm I've been eating chocolate brownie cookies all day so that makes two of us.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 04:07pm They sound absolutely sickening. I might just not have anything. I've been munching on kettle chips so I'm not HUNGY hungry, I'm just hungry for something proper, if that makes sense.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 04:09pm They're yum. Flaming Phalanges!: HUNGY hungry
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 04:12pm SHUT UP. IT'S DARK AND I CAN'T SEE THE KEYBOARD PROPERLY AS I AM TOO LAZY TO GET UP AND SWITCH ON THE LIGHT.
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 04:13pm
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 04:13pm Ah the immaturity.
Flaming Phalanges! Basket Case Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 17669	July 26th, 2009 at 05:37pm Lexus, you are a horrible human bean. Put that thing away and never let it see daylight again. I wonder if there's some turkey drummers in the freezer...
Alexa. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5253	July 26th, 2009 at 06:00pm Human beans. The BFG! I was reading that as a bedtime story not that long ago.

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