Sexual Templates

As far as I know, this doesn't fit in another thread, but if it does, I guess it will be rightfully locked.

Anyhoo, I was reading this article and came upon the following passage:
At the root of human sexual desire is the "core erotic personality"--a.k.a. "sexual template"--which, in a nutshell, is whatever gets you off. "Everyone has in their mind an image of someone or thing they find sexually desirous," explains Dr. William Granzig, dean of clinical sexology at Maimonides University in North Miami Beach and president of the American Board of Sexology.

That image might be a person of specific age, race or hair color, or it might be every person. It could be a fondness for a particular style of dress, objects such as women's shoes or fur-lined handcuffs, or behavior such as cross-dressing or exhibitionism. Whatever it is in particular, the sexual template is believed to develop early on during a childhood erotic experience--perhaps as early as age three or four--and it sticks with you for life.


This got me thinking about whether or not there is something I find attractive, my own sexual template. I thought about green eyes, which I adore. Grey eyes which I adore equally. Red hair, something I've always loved. And then I tried to think back to something that stood out from when I was little.

Couldn't think of anything except my preschool best friend Stephanie. She had curly red hair. So yeah. I began to wonder whether or not such a thing even exists, whether or not it can be changed, and whether or not its something from one's childhood. Do all people have a set sexual template by the time they reach a certain age?

So...I'd like to know all your opinions on this.

Thanks.

When I saw this thread and I was like "Dude, if this is going to be dissing my Dita template..."

Does it have to be just sexual though? I mean I saw the wizard of oz when I was pretty tiny and I think that has something to do with my love of old movies, which when I was older lead to me being interested in vintage culture as a whole. I think anything that happens while you're young can impact your life later.
Whatever it is in particular, the sexual template is believed to develop early on during a childhood erotic experience--perhaps as early as age three or four--and it sticks with you for life.
As for the erotic experience thing, how many 4 year olds have erotic experiences? Like you mentioned your friend Stephanies red hair, that isn't really erotic. Maybe you just grew to like it or prefer it? It might not even have been sexual until an attraction to guys/girls later on in life. Interesting thread.

Well, I like BDSM.
Is that because I was spanked as a child?
-totally confused-
Because I didn't get off on my dad spanking me.

I've always thought that shit like that was developed during childhood. I knew it!

druscilla; in rags:

Well, I like BDSM.
Is that because I was spanked as a child?
-totally confused-
Because I didn't get off on my dad spanking me.

Actually, you probably did. I read an article on spanking (because I really don't have anything better to do) and there was all this stuff on how its detrimental to how a child thinks because even though getting slapped on the butt hurts like hell, the child will still feel some amount of pleasure because its so close to the genitals.

And often, due to this, sexual preferences towards spanking and S&M and BDSM develops.

double post.

lyrical_mess:

druscilla; in rags:

Well, I like BDSM.
Is that because I was spanked as a child?
-totally confused-
Because I didn't get off on my dad spanking me.

Actually, you probably did. I read an article on spanking (because I really don't have anything better to do) and there was all this stuff on how its detrimental to how a child thinks because even though getting slapped on the butt hurts like hell, the child will still feel some amount of pleasure because its so close to the genitals.

And often, due to this, sexual preferences towards spanking and S&M and BDSM develops.

That sounds so totally wrong, but I understand what you're saying.

Kurtni:

When I saw this thread and I was like "Dude, if this is going to be dissing my Dita template..."

Does it have to be just sexual though? I mean I saw the wizard of oz when I was pretty tiny and I think that has something to do with my love of old movies, which when I was older lead to me being interested in vintage culture as a whole. I think anything that happens while you're young can impact your life later.
Whatever it is in particular, the sexual template is believed to develop early on during a childhood erotic experience--perhaps as early as age three or four--and it sticks with you for life.
As for the erotic experience thing, how many 4 year olds have erotic experiences? Like you mentioned your friend Stephanies red hair, that isn't really erotic. Maybe you just grew to like it or prefer it? It might not even have been sexual until an attraction to guys/girls later on in life. Interesting thread.

I thought about that too. Other than going "Mommy what's a vagina?" loudly in the middle of a grocery store, small children really don't have erotic experiences. But perhaps one's sexual template develops based on something conforting or important during early childhood. For instance, if you played peekaboo for hours on end with a blue-eyed cousin. You would constantly see those blue eyes. Seeing those eyes is important to you, its a routine. To the child, they mean that the happy-wonderful cousin is here to play and make you feel better. They become locked in the brain somewhere until puberty.

Perhaps one day at the mall, you meet someone at the bookstore. You start talking to him about Tom Clancy's latest or whatever. Suddenly, you notice he has blue eyes and for some reason they're very comforting and mean something to you. They are the main catalyst for your attraction to random boy.

Its a faulty theory, but I'm working on it.

I really liked this Norwegian kid when I was like six. Such a playground crush, really embaressing. But I do date lots of Scandanavians, now that I think about it.

I don't know if this counts, but my dad is 2o years older than my mom. And I always loved him and a relationship between an older man and younger woman or vica verse was never strange for me. Maybe thats the reason why I tend to fancy older guys?

And I agree with lyrical_mess, your theory makes sense. Erotic experiences that you have when you were a kid are not the same experiences you have now or will have when you are older. When I was a kid a had a silly crush on this blond-haired boy. And he knew it and he made fun of me. I know a silly crush isn't really a erotic experience, but I couldn't even pronounce that when I was kid. What I want to say is that he hurt me badly, and I have never fancied anyone blond till that day, blond guys just don't attract me.

actually Dr. Cuddy (haha I feel like I'm talking to a doctor), the case of your parents makes sense. To me, anyway. It might be true for interracial relationships as well. Children born out of such relationships might be drawn to whichever race they don't look like. For example, if the father is Caucasian and the mother is Asian and the child looks very Asian, the child might be likely to be attracted to white people.

I watched tons of cheesy Indian movies as a kid where a guy chases a girl and she's all like "Pshh." and then gives in. I thought that was how life was. Girls are supposed to be mean and indifferent to boys. Even when they grow up. I had a couple of issues with that in middle school. Kevin threw a volleyball at my head and called be a bitch. .

Anji:

I really liked this Norwegian kid when I was like six. Such a playground crush, really embaressing. But I do date lots of Scandanavians, now that I think about it.

The perfect example.

...

I think I have a thing for bassists, does that count?

It's definately interesting. They say you develop so much in the first five years of your life so maybe when you're this young it all develops. (I also have a thing for green eyes have done for years!)

Boobmeister:

...

I think I have a thing for bassists, does that count?

Probably. Can you think of anything prior to your tenth birthday that has something to do with bassists?

A doctor of sexology? some people get awesome jobs!

Do you think people who are breast fed are more likely to be attracted to someone with larger breasts than someone who wasnt?

I've got a thing for fucked up people and situations. . . And I like when people know what they want.

I don't really KNOW where any of this could have come from.. HOWEVER.. My dad was seriously mentally ill for quite some time.. and my mother has always anxiety problems.

I also just love the morally wrong...

I think this is true though.. I took a psychology class... and this shit seems to sort of sync with some of Frueds Ideas.

Dom:

A doctor of sexology? some people get awesome jobs!

Do you think people who are breast fed are more likely to be attracted to someone with larger breasts than someone who wasnt?

Liking big breasts is just natural I think. A sign of good baby raising . . .

It's all instinct.

lyrical_mess:

Boobmeister:

...

I think I have a thing for bassists, does that count?

Probably. Can you think of anything prior to your tenth birthday that has something to do with bassists?

... Not really

More importantly, do bassists make you horny? It sounds like a dumb question, but that's basically what a sexual template is. The type of person you'd like to have sex with.