You're A Blur In My Dead Past, chapter 19
About ten minutes later, I sat on Billie's lap, our lips still attached and his tongue begging for an entrance to my mouth. I opened my mouth slightly and my senses exploded when our tongues met. His hands were snaked around my waist and he held me close to his body, I could feel the warmth escaping from his body and melting into my own. He pulled away and we leant our foreheads together.
"Want to stay the night?" he whispered, kissing my nose softly.
I nodded without saying a word and he pulled me quickly up the stairs and towards his room.
The sound of the bird's chirping woke me up the next morning. My eyes opened slowly and I took in the scene around me. My clothes, along with Billie's, were strewn around the room and a blanket from his bed lay on the floor in a heap. I looked at the snoring guitarist who lay next to me. One arm lay around my waist, the other was hanging off his bed. The sheet was twisted around his legs and his face was plowed into the mattress. I smiled to myself as he yawned and turned to find a more comfortable position to sleep in. His dark hair was disheveled and stuck up in all directions and a slight line of drool traced his chin.
'Nasty' I thought to myself. I pulled the sheet up to my neck and I sat back on the headboard as the memories of the past night came flooding back, as well as the immense feeling of guilt. How could I sleep with my ex-boyfriends best friend just days after we broke up? I prayed to God that Billie would try to keep this to himself until I was really over Mike and ready to tell him about Billie and me. It worried me to think about how he might react. I ran a hand through my own tangled hair and got up to pick up my clothes. I slipped them on and cautiously wandered down the hall, peering around the corner trying to avoid Ollie.
I stepped into the kitchen and read a note that said Ollie had been called into work early. Thank God for that. I rummaged through the cupboards in search of food, and decided on some stale Lucky Charms.
"Who said you could eat my Lucky Charms missy?"
I jumped at the voice and turned around to see Billie standing in the doorway in his boxers and a t-shirt, scratching his head.
"I did" I smiled.
"Well, as long as you share"
I turned the box upside down and a few measly crumbs fell out.
He gasped. "You ate them all?"
"They were mighty good" I laughed.
He stuck his bottom lip out and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a child.
"Aww, poor Billie Joe" I giggled, hugging him.
He hugged me back and kissed my cheek. "Last night was fun"
I looked down and took a step back, picking up the empty cereal box and tossing it in the garbage. "Uh-huh"
"Mags.." Billie said in a warning tone.
"What?"
He examined my face and he frowned. "You're worried about Mike, aren't you?"
I nodded half-heartily. "I don't know why I feel so guilty."
"It's because you regret last night" he said, walking away from me and back up to his room.
I followed him. "No, Billie, I don't. It's probably the only thing I've been sure of in the passed few months"
He stopped halfway up the stairs and turned around. "You know how I feel about you. I wouldn't give a flying fuck if you went back to Mike right now." And with that, he ran up the rest of the stairs and slam the door shut to his room and I heard the familiar 'click' of the lock. I cursed myself mentally and left his house. I walked straight to Bianca's house. Her dad let me in and told me that she was with Tre in the basement, watching a movie.
"Are you two ever apart?" I joked, walking down to the basement.
"Not if I can help it" Tre said, hugging Bianca.
I sat down next to them on the couch and stared blankly at the television screen. I took a piece of paper and pen off the nearby desk and scribbled something down and shoving it to Bianca's hand. She gave me a weird look and opened the note.
'I slept with Billie last night'
Her jaw dropped and she whipped her head around to stare at me. I shrugged and she pulled me off the couch and out of Tre's hearing range. Her hand was gripped my wrist so tightly, her nails were digging into my skin.
"You slept with Billie?" she hissed at me, anger blazing in her eyes.
"Yes, I did. Let go of me, you're gonna make me bleed".
She dropped her hand. "Do you know how wrong that is?"
I shook my head. "I felt guilty about it this morning, but I'm over it, and I'm glad I slept with him. Better someone I care about then some random guy, right?"
"Megan! He's one of your best friends, not to mention your ex's best friend!"
"I realise that, but I-" I trailed off.
"You what?"
"I love Billie"
"You love him? Since when? Was it not just yesterday that you were all torn up because you loved Mike?"
"True. But it clicked in my mind after you and Tre left. It just felt right"
She sighed and started biting her nails. "Are you going to tell Mike?"
" I don't know if I should."
"You should. He's got the right to know that you're fucking his best friend, and bandmate."
I rolled my eyes. "You're such a big help. Thanks"
"Anytime Mags."
I spent the rest of the Saturday alone in my place, thinking about the past few days. I finally gave up my mental battle and called Mike.
"Mike?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, it's me Mags"
"Oh, Hi Mags. What's up?"
"Um, I have something to tell you, and I want you to promise me that you won't hate me for the rest of our lives"
"Uh, Sure, I guess"
I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves. "I slept with Billie last night"
"You WHAT!" he yelled into the phone. "What happened to you not being ready for that? Or were you just not ready because it was me?"
"Mike. You know that's not true! I loved you will every part of my heart, I still do in some ways."
"Then why did you sleep with him. Don't you love him?"
"I do, trust me I do."
"Why are you telling me this, Mags?" he sighed.
"I thought you had the right to know. Plus I don't want you to think I'm some kind of slut"
"I could never think that of you. I'm happy for you as long as you're happy, and if that means that you're with Billie instead of me, then so be it."
"That means a lot Mikey, thank you"
"Yeah". He hung up after that.
I lied back on my bed and felt as if I could sleep for days, in some ways I wanted to, to just escape from the hectic world around me.
"Want to stay the night?" he whispered, kissing my nose softly.
I nodded without saying a word and he pulled me quickly up the stairs and towards his room.
The sound of the bird's chirping woke me up the next morning. My eyes opened slowly and I took in the scene around me. My clothes, along with Billie's, were strewn around the room and a blanket from his bed lay on the floor in a heap. I looked at the snoring guitarist who lay next to me. One arm lay around my waist, the other was hanging off his bed. The sheet was twisted around his legs and his face was plowed into the mattress. I smiled to myself as he yawned and turned to find a more comfortable position to sleep in. His dark hair was disheveled and stuck up in all directions and a slight line of drool traced his chin.
'Nasty' I thought to myself. I pulled the sheet up to my neck and I sat back on the headboard as the memories of the past night came flooding back, as well as the immense feeling of guilt. How could I sleep with my ex-boyfriends best friend just days after we broke up? I prayed to God that Billie would try to keep this to himself until I was really over Mike and ready to tell him about Billie and me. It worried me to think about how he might react. I ran a hand through my own tangled hair and got up to pick up my clothes. I slipped them on and cautiously wandered down the hall, peering around the corner trying to avoid Ollie.
I stepped into the kitchen and read a note that said Ollie had been called into work early. Thank God for that. I rummaged through the cupboards in search of food, and decided on some stale Lucky Charms.
"Who said you could eat my Lucky Charms missy?"
I jumped at the voice and turned around to see Billie standing in the doorway in his boxers and a t-shirt, scratching his head.
"I did" I smiled.
"Well, as long as you share"
I turned the box upside down and a few measly crumbs fell out.
He gasped. "You ate them all?"
"They were mighty good" I laughed.
He stuck his bottom lip out and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting like a child.
"Aww, poor Billie Joe" I giggled, hugging him.
He hugged me back and kissed my cheek. "Last night was fun"
I looked down and took a step back, picking up the empty cereal box and tossing it in the garbage. "Uh-huh"
"Mags.." Billie said in a warning tone.
"What?"
He examined my face and he frowned. "You're worried about Mike, aren't you?"
I nodded half-heartily. "I don't know why I feel so guilty."
"It's because you regret last night" he said, walking away from me and back up to his room.
I followed him. "No, Billie, I don't. It's probably the only thing I've been sure of in the passed few months"
He stopped halfway up the stairs and turned around. "You know how I feel about you. I wouldn't give a flying fuck if you went back to Mike right now." And with that, he ran up the rest of the stairs and slam the door shut to his room and I heard the familiar 'click' of the lock. I cursed myself mentally and left his house. I walked straight to Bianca's house. Her dad let me in and told me that she was with Tre in the basement, watching a movie.
"Are you two ever apart?" I joked, walking down to the basement.
"Not if I can help it" Tre said, hugging Bianca.
I sat down next to them on the couch and stared blankly at the television screen. I took a piece of paper and pen off the nearby desk and scribbled something down and shoving it to Bianca's hand. She gave me a weird look and opened the note.
'I slept with Billie last night'
Her jaw dropped and she whipped her head around to stare at me. I shrugged and she pulled me off the couch and out of Tre's hearing range. Her hand was gripped my wrist so tightly, her nails were digging into my skin.
"You slept with Billie?" she hissed at me, anger blazing in her eyes.
"Yes, I did. Let go of me, you're gonna make me bleed".
She dropped her hand. "Do you know how wrong that is?"
I shook my head. "I felt guilty about it this morning, but I'm over it, and I'm glad I slept with him. Better someone I care about then some random guy, right?"
"Megan! He's one of your best friends, not to mention your ex's best friend!"
"I realise that, but I-" I trailed off.
"You what?"
"I love Billie"
"You love him? Since when? Was it not just yesterday that you were all torn up because you loved Mike?"
"True. But it clicked in my mind after you and Tre left. It just felt right"
She sighed and started biting her nails. "Are you going to tell Mike?"
" I don't know if I should."
"You should. He's got the right to know that you're fucking his best friend, and bandmate."
I rolled my eyes. "You're such a big help. Thanks"
"Anytime Mags."
I spent the rest of the Saturday alone in my place, thinking about the past few days. I finally gave up my mental battle and called Mike.
"Mike?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, it's me Mags"
"Oh, Hi Mags. What's up?"
"Um, I have something to tell you, and I want you to promise me that you won't hate me for the rest of our lives"
"Uh, Sure, I guess"
I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves. "I slept with Billie last night"
"You WHAT!" he yelled into the phone. "What happened to you not being ready for that? Or were you just not ready because it was me?"
"Mike. You know that's not true! I loved you will every part of my heart, I still do in some ways."
"Then why did you sleep with him. Don't you love him?"
"I do, trust me I do."
"Why are you telling me this, Mags?" he sighed.
"I thought you had the right to know. Plus I don't want you to think I'm some kind of slut"
"I could never think that of you. I'm happy for you as long as you're happy, and if that means that you're with Billie instead of me, then so be it."
"That means a lot Mikey, thank you"
"Yeah". He hung up after that.
I lied back on my bed and felt as if I could sleep for days, in some ways I wanted to, to just escape from the hectic world around me.
