Slaa Smentiraa ldea ramoa esa Nsalea (love, lies, leaks), chapter 2
Emira ahacia oabaja nea snuestraa smanoa satadaa ya ima ncorazóa esa osalta nua egolpa..
I looked down at our laced hands and my heart seemed to skip a beat, my mind raced with all different memories that I couldn't quite make out. A smiling boy, Swinging at the park.
Running, running, then crying.
I snap back to reality and quickly pull my hand from sonny's. He looks a bit confused and upset. "What's wrong Max?" he asked. I couldn't respond, my eyes blurred and next thing I knew, I was on the floor in a ball, crying my eyes out.
I heard doors from different rooms, all around me, opening to see what was going on. I felt sonny touch my shoulder, he tried to calm me down, but I couldn't. After about 2 minutes of crying, I could hear laughter from a bunch of students who must have been watching my mental break down.
"Max? Max?! are you okay?" Sonny was asking over and over again, then he turned and swore at the other students, who immediately shut up. Once my body allowed me to move again, I stood up and ran. Just kept running until I was out of school, at least 5 blocks away in the middle of the old abandoned park. I collapsed in the grass and just sat there crying.
Running, running, then crying.
It occurred to me that this all seemed like deja-vu. Everything except for the fact that sonny hadn't done what HE had. I tried to push the thought from my mind, but it kept on coming back. Once again, I snapped back into reality and saw that Sonny was to the side of me, he was a good 2 feet away though, he must have figured that I would break down again if he came close.
Sonny must have realized that I noticed he was there, because he moved a couple of inches closer. He stared at me with deep concern in his eyes. "Max? are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you.." he said and looked down at the ground.
"I'm fine." I mumbled and wiped the tears from my cheek, "I just... holding your hand brought back memories." I confessed. Sonny raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean... bad memories that i have been trying to forget about." I said, and covered my mouth. The little voice in my head was yelling at me for telling Sonny anything about anything.
"Max, tell me. What happened? what bad memories?" he asked and inched a little bit closer, but he was still at least 1 and 1/2 feet away. I looked into his eyes, and i decided to tell him everything.
Flashback.. 2 years before.
Finally, things were going great in my life! I was pretty, popular, and had the greatest boyfriend ever. His name was Jake. We spent every moment of time together. (well, not EVERY moment) He was the guy of my dreams. Sweet, kind, and even hot. He was like, the perfect guy.
During lunch, we sat down at a table ate silently. It seemed odd because we never we're silent, Jake was only silent when he was nervous or was thinking. He looked up at me with his beautiful green eyes and smiled.
"Max, I was wondering. Would you want to go with me to this high school party? I have connections and I could get us in." he explained.
I was so excited that I screamed a little bit, he laughed. Going to a high school party would make you more popular than anyone else. Especially provided that we were only 8th graders in middle school.
I nodded, "I'd LOVE to." I said and kissed him. He kissed me back and we sat in silence for the rest of lunch.
Later on that night
I got out my best outfit and put on my make-up and made sure my hair was perfect. Jake picked me up at around 7:30 and we were off to the party. When we got there, I was so excited. The party was a basic party, dancing, a DJ, teens making out, but there was also beer and certain teens smelled like... pot.
I tried to ignore it and just have a good time. Jake offered me some beer and I took it in my hands.
"Common, just try it. I've had it before, it's just like punch." he said.
And I believed him, of course.
I took a sip of the drink and it tasted so bad that I almost spit it back up. Then, after about two minutes, I had finished the whole cup and I soon started drinking more and more. it was like, addicting.
I could tell that I was drunk. I was laughing at things that weren't even funny. Jake had drank as much as I had, but he wasn't drunk. He said he had drunk before, so he was used to it.
Later on during the party, Jake said to follow him to the front lawn, he said it'd be a lot more quiet for my headache that I had gotten from my drinking. We sat down on the grass and started kissing, then making out. Before I knew it, he was on top of me taking off my clothes and i couldn't do anything to stop him. I was paralyzed.
"No.." I said in a weak voice, but he kissed me again and promised that everything was going to be okay.
And I believed him, of course.
After, about what seemed like a half an hour of him helping himself to my body, He stood up and put his clothes back on, and he helped me into mine. He said that I had to promise not to tell anyone about what happened.
So I didn't, of course.
It ended up that I was pregnant, and when I told Jake, he completely denied me and told everyone that I was a whore who slept with everyone. I didn't tell my mom, or dad, or anybody. I went down to the hospital and got an abortion. The doctors asked if I had someone to drive me home and I said yes, that they were waiting outside.
And they believed me.
So, they let me go home, and I pretended to walk to a car, but then I bolted down the street. Just trying to get away, run away, escape.
Running, running, Crying.
End Flashback
I looked at sonny after telling him the whole story, and he just stared at me, shocked. "max.. im so sorry.." he said.
I stood up, "I don't need you feeling sorry for me." I said and walked down the street, and I made sure sonny didn't follow this time.
two weeks later
I haven't talked to sonny in two weeks, i've barely even looked at him. I feel bad for acting like a bitch towards him when he was trying to comfort me. I passed him in the hallway and he looked like he was about to say something to me, but he didn't. I kind of want to talk to him, but I'm too nervous to even go near him.
I feel so horrible and alone, that when I get home, i crawl under my blankets and cry. My mother is visiting her friend, so she wont be home until much later on. I hear my phone ringing, and ringing, but I don't answer it. I figure it was my mom. The answering machine picked up and I listened to the message that was being left.
"Hello? Max. I know you're there. Its me, Sonny, from school. Please, answer?" he said, then there was a pause. "I'm not going to hang up until you answer. please.." he started, then I picked up.
"What do you want?" I asked, sounding snobby, I didn't mean for it to sound that way.
"I was just seeing if you were okay.. you've been ignoring me lately." he said.
I got up out of my bed and stood up, "wait, how'd you get my number anyway?" i asked curiously.
"the phonebook, duh." he replied.
"Oh, well. I'm fine, and I don't know.. I thought u wouldn't want to talk to me after how I acted towards you that one day." I said.
"Its okay though, I know it must have been hard for you to tell me. I'm glad you did though. It's better to tell someone stuff like that, so it doesn't boil up inside." he said.
And he was right, of course.
I didn't know what to say, and after 3 minutes and 24 seconds of silence, (yes I was counting), he finally spoke.
"I was wondering, would you want to come to the park with me and the guys?" he asked.
I smiled to myself, "Sure." I said despite my slight fear. "I'll meet you there in 10." I said.
"Okay, see you there." he said, and you could tell he was happy. then we hung up.
I looked down at our laced hands and my heart seemed to skip a beat, my mind raced with all different memories that I couldn't quite make out. A smiling boy, Swinging at the park.
Running, running, then crying.
I snap back to reality and quickly pull my hand from sonny's. He looks a bit confused and upset. "What's wrong Max?" he asked. I couldn't respond, my eyes blurred and next thing I knew, I was on the floor in a ball, crying my eyes out.
I heard doors from different rooms, all around me, opening to see what was going on. I felt sonny touch my shoulder, he tried to calm me down, but I couldn't. After about 2 minutes of crying, I could hear laughter from a bunch of students who must have been watching my mental break down.
"Max? Max?! are you okay?" Sonny was asking over and over again, then he turned and swore at the other students, who immediately shut up. Once my body allowed me to move again, I stood up and ran. Just kept running until I was out of school, at least 5 blocks away in the middle of the old abandoned park. I collapsed in the grass and just sat there crying.
Running, running, then crying.
It occurred to me that this all seemed like deja-vu. Everything except for the fact that sonny hadn't done what HE had. I tried to push the thought from my mind, but it kept on coming back. Once again, I snapped back into reality and saw that Sonny was to the side of me, he was a good 2 feet away though, he must have figured that I would break down again if he came close.
Sonny must have realized that I noticed he was there, because he moved a couple of inches closer. He stared at me with deep concern in his eyes. "Max? are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you.." he said and looked down at the ground.
"I'm fine." I mumbled and wiped the tears from my cheek, "I just... holding your hand brought back memories." I confessed. Sonny raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean... bad memories that i have been trying to forget about." I said, and covered my mouth. The little voice in my head was yelling at me for telling Sonny anything about anything.
"Max, tell me. What happened? what bad memories?" he asked and inched a little bit closer, but he was still at least 1 and 1/2 feet away. I looked into his eyes, and i decided to tell him everything.
Flashback.. 2 years before.
Finally, things were going great in my life! I was pretty, popular, and had the greatest boyfriend ever. His name was Jake. We spent every moment of time together. (well, not EVERY moment) He was the guy of my dreams. Sweet, kind, and even hot. He was like, the perfect guy.
During lunch, we sat down at a table ate silently. It seemed odd because we never we're silent, Jake was only silent when he was nervous or was thinking. He looked up at me with his beautiful green eyes and smiled.
"Max, I was wondering. Would you want to go with me to this high school party? I have connections and I could get us in." he explained.
I was so excited that I screamed a little bit, he laughed. Going to a high school party would make you more popular than anyone else. Especially provided that we were only 8th graders in middle school.
I nodded, "I'd LOVE to." I said and kissed him. He kissed me back and we sat in silence for the rest of lunch.
Later on that night
I got out my best outfit and put on my make-up and made sure my hair was perfect. Jake picked me up at around 7:30 and we were off to the party. When we got there, I was so excited. The party was a basic party, dancing, a DJ, teens making out, but there was also beer and certain teens smelled like... pot.
I tried to ignore it and just have a good time. Jake offered me some beer and I took it in my hands.
"Common, just try it. I've had it before, it's just like punch." he said.
And I believed him, of course.
I took a sip of the drink and it tasted so bad that I almost spit it back up. Then, after about two minutes, I had finished the whole cup and I soon started drinking more and more. it was like, addicting.
I could tell that I was drunk. I was laughing at things that weren't even funny. Jake had drank as much as I had, but he wasn't drunk. He said he had drunk before, so he was used to it.
Later on during the party, Jake said to follow him to the front lawn, he said it'd be a lot more quiet for my headache that I had gotten from my drinking. We sat down on the grass and started kissing, then making out. Before I knew it, he was on top of me taking off my clothes and i couldn't do anything to stop him. I was paralyzed.
"No.." I said in a weak voice, but he kissed me again and promised that everything was going to be okay.
And I believed him, of course.
After, about what seemed like a half an hour of him helping himself to my body, He stood up and put his clothes back on, and he helped me into mine. He said that I had to promise not to tell anyone about what happened.
So I didn't, of course.
It ended up that I was pregnant, and when I told Jake, he completely denied me and told everyone that I was a whore who slept with everyone. I didn't tell my mom, or dad, or anybody. I went down to the hospital and got an abortion. The doctors asked if I had someone to drive me home and I said yes, that they were waiting outside.
And they believed me.
So, they let me go home, and I pretended to walk to a car, but then I bolted down the street. Just trying to get away, run away, escape.
Running, running, Crying.
End Flashback
I looked at sonny after telling him the whole story, and he just stared at me, shocked. "max.. im so sorry.." he said.
I stood up, "I don't need you feeling sorry for me." I said and walked down the street, and I made sure sonny didn't follow this time.
two weeks later
I haven't talked to sonny in two weeks, i've barely even looked at him. I feel bad for acting like a bitch towards him when he was trying to comfort me. I passed him in the hallway and he looked like he was about to say something to me, but he didn't. I kind of want to talk to him, but I'm too nervous to even go near him.
I feel so horrible and alone, that when I get home, i crawl under my blankets and cry. My mother is visiting her friend, so she wont be home until much later on. I hear my phone ringing, and ringing, but I don't answer it. I figure it was my mom. The answering machine picked up and I listened to the message that was being left.
"Hello? Max. I know you're there. Its me, Sonny, from school. Please, answer?" he said, then there was a pause. "I'm not going to hang up until you answer. please.." he started, then I picked up.
"What do you want?" I asked, sounding snobby, I didn't mean for it to sound that way.
"I was just seeing if you were okay.. you've been ignoring me lately." he said.
I got up out of my bed and stood up, "wait, how'd you get my number anyway?" i asked curiously.
"the phonebook, duh." he replied.
"Oh, well. I'm fine, and I don't know.. I thought u wouldn't want to talk to me after how I acted towards you that one day." I said.
"Its okay though, I know it must have been hard for you to tell me. I'm glad you did though. It's better to tell someone stuff like that, so it doesn't boil up inside." he said.
And he was right, of course.
I didn't know what to say, and after 3 minutes and 24 seconds of silence, (yes I was counting), he finally spoke.
"I was wondering, would you want to come to the park with me and the guys?" he asked.
I smiled to myself, "Sure." I said despite my slight fear. "I'll meet you there in 10." I said.
"Okay, see you there." he said, and you could tell he was happy. then we hung up.
