i think i have more issues than anyone could ever know
the info at the top of the page says no profanity. i think thats swearing? i wont swear just in case.
i think im bipolar, i KNOW im manic depressive. i get these days where i want to kill myself, i hate myself, i punch myself in the head. or i get bored of everything and sit and stare and dont think and try to stop existing. or im in a normal (like other people) mood. such as happy, sad, angry. sometimes i act high and i dont take drugs now but i still get bug out eyes and find thing funny and love everyone and everything.
i think i might be schizophrenic. on my manicly good days im this kid who finds innocent pleasure in all. sometimes im this total hornbag whos sex obsessed and stuff. sometimes i jsut withdraw into myself and think about things that happend like a kid that had to grow up too fast. and sometimes im someone else who hates me, and i either try to defend myself while the other me is insulting me and saying things like noone is talking to you because they hate you, why are you so pathetic as to cry you little shit or im insulting me and saying i hate you i hate you you cant do anything right i wish i was free of this disgusting body.
i have bid//shs (see mibba.com articles - its the one on self hate syndrome and body image disorder) i know i do because im trying to beat it. i know im not hideously ugly and brian thinks im beautiful but hes not here to say so and my nose is pretty big and i do look a little fucked up... and people dont talk to me im so convinced everyone hates me sometimes
and im scared of so much... like spiders might crawl on me and in my ears or bite me(fear of spiders) or i might get stuck in a lift and itll fall and ill die (fear of lifts) or ill cut myself too deep or fall and cut myself bad and bleed to death (fear of blood)
and then theres the fear of rejectment that stops me asking anyone out. or telling my parents im bisexual in case they dont like it.
and im paranoid that someone at school will see the scars or my mum will.
and the nightmares... i have relive nightmares of bad things that have happend and i get nightmares of falling down a never ending well and i get nightmares of my fears coming true and i get nightmares theyll put me in a nut house.
idk y im telling you all this youll think im nuts. i probably am. i still see things like i did when i took hallucengenics. out the corner of my eye or just as i close my eye. i see people... >.< ill stop now before i get a panic attack. did i mention them?
and im not even a hypochrondiac! i wish i was sometimes. sorry. i just had to get it all out of my system
i think im bipolar, i KNOW im manic depressive. i get these days where i want to kill myself, i hate myself, i punch myself in the head. or i get bored of everything and sit and stare and dont think and try to stop existing. or im in a normal (like other people) mood. such as happy, sad, angry. sometimes i act high and i dont take drugs now but i still get bug out eyes and find thing funny and love everyone and everything.
i think i might be schizophrenic. on my manicly good days im this kid who finds innocent pleasure in all. sometimes im this total hornbag whos sex obsessed and stuff. sometimes i jsut withdraw into myself and think about things that happend like a kid that had to grow up too fast. and sometimes im someone else who hates me, and i either try to defend myself while the other me is insulting me and saying things like noone is talking to you because they hate you, why are you so pathetic as to cry you little shit or im insulting me and saying i hate you i hate you you cant do anything right i wish i was free of this disgusting body.
i have bid//shs (see mibba.com articles - its the one on self hate syndrome and body image disorder) i know i do because im trying to beat it. i know im not hideously ugly and brian thinks im beautiful but hes not here to say so and my nose is pretty big and i do look a little fucked up... and people dont talk to me im so convinced everyone hates me sometimes
and im scared of so much... like spiders might crawl on me and in my ears or bite me(fear of spiders) or i might get stuck in a lift and itll fall and ill die (fear of lifts) or ill cut myself too deep or fall and cut myself bad and bleed to death (fear of blood)
and then theres the fear of rejectment that stops me asking anyone out. or telling my parents im bisexual in case they dont like it.
and im paranoid that someone at school will see the scars or my mum will.
and the nightmares... i have relive nightmares of bad things that have happend and i get nightmares of falling down a never ending well and i get nightmares of my fears coming true and i get nightmares theyll put me in a nut house.
idk y im telling you all this youll think im nuts. i probably am. i still see things like i did when i took hallucengenics. out the corner of my eye or just as i close my eye. i see people... >.< ill stop now before i get a panic attack. did i mention them?
and im not even a hypochrondiac! i wish i was sometimes. sorry. i just had to get it all out of my system
Maybe you're just a little paranoid. Or have that disease thing that makes you think you have diseases you don't have...
><
Go to a psychiatrist to get some proof of whether you have all these things before you worry yourself thinking you do when you may not.
[sorry if i sound mean...]
°MorbidRose°, May 18th, 2007 at 09:09:44pm
<3
I love you anyway.
AndTheCowSaidMoo, May 17th, 2007 at 06:57:33am
Hey, for your manic depressive problem, know that you're not alone with all that stuff. Stephen Fry did a documentary on bipolar syndrome/manic depression, and you can see it on youtube. It's really great, maybe you'd want to check it out.
Funky Platypus, May 16th, 2007 at 06:47:34pm
...................All of that stuff happens to me too o_o
lishaaaaa, May 16th, 2007 at 05:16:40pm
I love you lyddy. even with all these problems =] *hugs*
just_call_me_dookie, May 16th, 2007 at 04:38:19pm