... I made it?

Okay, so a few days before I left for Tennessee (which was so great by the way, even though we were only about 2 miles away from the hurricanes cuz we were at my pap's house) I stayed after school.

This time, though, was different. It wasn't for a play, or detention, or concert rehersals, or make-up work, or because I missed the bus, or because my mom forgot to pick me up (though that was a f*cked up experience for a SEVEN YEAR OLD)

I'm not gonna tell you what I was staying after for, though. Not yet.

Ok, so I sat in the hall for a while, waiting for my turn. While I was there, these girls are all, "Skylar, shouldn't you be practicing?" and I said, "No. I never practice."

Ring a bell? For anyone who's heard me say "I never study," it should.

To me, studying and practicing are one in the same. If I do either, it makes it seem to myself as if I'm unsure that I can do it. If I've just got that "Who gives a flying f*ck" attitude I really don't care. When I don't care, I don't worry. When I don't worry I'm not nervous. It works most of the time.

So I explained that to them and they said, "Whatever," and kept on practicing while I drew on the walls with crayon. (edit: I may have outgrown the "Honey" thing, but I still act like a five year old sometimes) After a while they got bored and started talking. I got bored before that and moved on to the floor.

One girl, Angela, asked me if I could draw a picture of her anime-style. So I did. Then I colored it as it was her turn.

Thank God I was the last to go. Or maybe that was a bad thing. The more time I have to think about it, the worse off I am.

Well, I completely screwed everything up.

Except one thing.

I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave...

Yes, I sang My Immortal by Evanescence.

Now I'll tell you what I did.

I went out for Advanced Chorus and for the solo for our upcoming concert...

I got them both.

I thought I'd never get it, but I did. I bet my friend 5 bucks for each. Damn, I'm out ten bucks. Still, it's nice.

I feel happy.