Ask Armstrong!

Dear Kylee,
Just go yourself, or ask them. It doesn't matter. If they feel bothered, they'll say no. BNig deal.
Yours always,
Billie
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Dear Billie,
Okay, this is URGENT! Remember that vampire problem I had? Well, I was just shaving my legs, and I got cut. I tried wiping off the blood, but it looked so good... I started drinking it. Now I'm squeezing the wound to make more come out. I'm not even aware I'm doing it! I just see mself doing it, but I think I'm doing it subconciously. And I can't stop. It's making me dizzy!! HELP!!! I don't know what to do! The bleeding stopped, but now I'm scared. I NEED ADVICE!
Yours forever (maybe literally )
Skylar

PS there were bats in the attic (where I live) that were trying really hard to get me.

Okay, here's what you do.
One) Get a band-aid.
Two) Put it over the wound.
Three) ... Actually that's it.
Now, go listen to some music and forget we had this conversation.

XXX | Billie
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Dear Uncle Billie,
Any new music I should be aware of?
XOXO | Jenn

Dear Jenn,

Please do not call me Uncle Billie. I don't really know why, but it annoys me when anyone except for my real nieces and nephews call me Uncle Billie. Anyway, about the new music, there's Foxboro Hot Tubs' debut album Stop Drop And Roll!!!, and Green Day is coming out with a new album in late October 2008.

XX (I'm not including the O's since Adie would kill me),
Billie

P.S. Thank you for asking me a serious, meaningful question instead of something like "Would ever leave Adie for me?" like some stupid dumbfucks (oops! Sorry to you and your parents for violating your eyes with profanity. You better not repeat that!) would do.

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Dear Billie,

Out of all your brothers, who is your favorite? Who is your favorite sister?
Do you ever worry that the guy who Adrienne was engaged to before she got back together with you and you guys got married might come back and try to take her away again? What would you do if he tried? Are you ever worried or does Adrienne ever worry that one or more of your exes might want you back? What do you think Adrienne would do?

Thanks,
Curious Chick

P.S. I really hope my questions didn't make me seem like a teenybopper. I'm really not a teenybopper, although I know I can sometimes come across as one. Thanks again.

dear curious,
i will not anser because i hate to say it, but your question is stupid.

bj


billie,
how do you know if you have an O.C.D.?

Dear whoever,
Well when you can't stop thinking about something, talking about it, mentioning it, etc. That's how most of my fans figured they have O.C.G.D.D. 0.o

Love,"Billie"


Dear "Billie",
So I am in Paul Green' School of Rock and I play drums, but it sucks cuz the teacher I had first was realy hot. But then he quit so I have a new teacher, but now I kind of don't like going as much.
But I think its cuz I get embarrassed when I play in front of people. And I'm that incredibly good yet.
Do you think theres a way to make Rock Shool more excting for me to go again....or whatever?

idk.

Love you foralways,
Kylee.

Dear Kylee,
Put 409 in your teachers coffee makers, It makes things really fun.
Love Billie


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Dear Billie,
Why does that poster of you in my room scare me so much???
-Jordan

Jordan,
Because you think I am dead sexy and are scared to admit it....IDK.


Dear Billie,
There's alot of people on here asking stupid questions and I need to know how to tell them NICELY that they are.
0.o

Kylee-
Sometimes you can't avoid stupid people and just have to laugh quietly to yourself.
Yours,
Billie Joe

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Dear Billie,
my little sister has wanted to play the drums since the 3rd grade. I play the bass in my own band, and i think that every kid should have some sort of musical experience. But our parents won't let her for many obvious reasons (too loud, not enough space...). Seeing as how she still has to live with them for a little more than 5 years, i don't think waiting until she moves out is an option. I love her to death and can tell that this realy is her passion. What should she do?
xoxoxo
Jack

Dear jack,
Well there is a place a fan of mine goes to do drums and it's called: Paul Green's School Of Rock and there they teach you all sorts of instruments. Maybe try getting your parents to enrolling here there?
idk.

Dear Billie,
So I have a problem with my dad. He is always more interested in my brother than he is me. It drives me nuts because Brandon is not the only sibling! He hardly ever pays attention to me, so when I talk to him I try talking louder to see if he listens, then I change the subject to something that isn't appropriate for public, but then he gets overly mad at me. grrr.

idk.


-Kylee

Dear Kylee,
Sometimes it's hard for parents to pay attention to more than one of their kids. It results in having favorites, which, no matter how hard people try, usually can't be avoided. Maybe it's just easier for your dad to relate to your brother because he's the guy. At any rate, you should really talk to your dad. Just get to the point and say, "Dad, I'm sick of Brandon being the favorite and I'm sick of you ignoring me. Every time I try to talk to you you get mad, and I'm really sick of it. Either pay some goddam attention to me or I'm leaving." Of course, you could say it differently if you want, but I'm just telling you what I would do.

Best of luck,
Billie
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Dear Billie,
My problem's kinda like Kylee's, only different.
Everyone loves my cousin Josh. He's so funny and smart and charismatic and good looking and nice and he's the prep that my family's always wanted. That's what they all see. But you know what I see? An annoying, pushy, superficial, arrogant, preppy jerk. Here's some of the things he's told me: "Skylar, you make me want to vomit." "Skylar, that sandwich is disgusting, you eat like a poor person. All your fat friends must be rubbing off on you." "Skylar, get a tan or I can't look at you." "Skylar, you really need some new friends." "Skylar, what happened? You used to listen to good music and be a somewnat normal person. Now you got all this punky shit in your head." "Global warming is a myth that the democrats made up so that they could rule the world." And let's not forget: " It's people like me that make fun of people like you." and "Moshing is just an excuse for people who don't know how to dance."
You get the picture. And he said all that in one day. But everyone favors him. My grandma, my aunt, my stepdad, even my mom. They said that he just acts like that to cover up how he really feels, and he has random anxiety attacks because his life's so hard. They even said that he only insults me like that because he wants me to turn out right. I told them all this and they still favored Joshy. Then they yelled at me for making him feel like shit when I told him that my so-called "fat" friends were angry at him for what he said about me and them. They have a right to know, and I have a right to talk to my friends about my problems. I don't cry too much, but today I just sat in my room and that's all I did. Life is so unfair, especially with such a shitty cousin. My mom said, "I know how he acts to you, but as long as he doesn't bother me I'm fine with it." They say that he's got all these problems so he needs more love. I've got more problems than he'll ever have, but nobody ever cared enough to talk about it or ask what's wrong. They just yelled at me and told me to quit being such a baby. I don't get it. Please, tell me why they like him so much more and what I can do (besides kill him, which I have actually contemplated doing) to make it stop.

Yours forever,
Skylar

P.S. If his life's so hard, why does he consider $60 jeans to be "cheap?"

Dear Skylar,
Life gets fucking hard and I know it from a few things in my life. But I think the best advice I have for you is either;
(I know this one doesn't sound fun...but try it)
1. Around your family or cousin, try to act all polite and do whatever the hell they want you to do and act as if nothing is wrong. They'll soon (hopefully) realize you're acting different and want to pay attention.

or 2. You can go a whole other direction and be a tad bit "worse" then you usually are, like throw off a "fuck you, I don't care" vibe.

and as for him making fun and talking shit on your music and punk stuff- that's bullshit. He's just trying to aggrivate you so you get mad so your family then gets angry at you or whatever. Something like that.


Best I can think of.

Billie.



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Billie,
My life...well.....it totally blows.
My mom...did some "stuff" like you have tried, and now she's wound up in a whole lot of trouble, which is causing pain for her husband, my gramma, and most of all me. (the whole family as well)

I know this will sound so selfish but, really the only thing I wanted to do is go to Granite Park jr. High. but now seeing as what's going on with my mom, my dad won't let me stay with my step dad so I can go to that school. He wants me to move back with him and go the school by him.
I wouldn't be so upset about it, except I literally know no one at that damn school! I will only know my brother and his 2 friends. omg. and I will miss my friends so much! I made the mistake once before by going to another school towards the end of 8th grade, and couldn't stand being away from all my friends.
But now I may have to do the WHOLE year of 9th at the other school!

any type of advice?

Dear Kylee,
Easy. Kick your dad and run.
But, seriously, just talk to the guy. He can't be so unreasonable that he'd risk your fucking happiness for... What the hell is he risking it for anyway? I dunno. Just talk to him. And if that doesn't work, then the first plan will. Or, you could try to get kicked out! That would be a stupid idea, though. Just go with whatever you think is least stupid.
Sorry, best advice.
Love,
Billie
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Dear Billie,
I recently posted a blog about my random mental issues. Idk, I've got problems. Well, everyone has strange thoughts. But I said that I hear a voice, then explainied that it wasn't so much as a voice, but more of a supressed thought that kept coming up. My subconcious would rather me deal with this one issue, but there's just no way of doing that right now. Really, I'm not just putting it off. Anyway, people are saying that I might have schizophrenia and I should see a shrink. Well, there's two problems with that, one, they misread the information and therefore have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, and two, I would NEVER see a shrink. They're fucked up. It's like they get paid a ton of cash just to nod their heads. It pisses the shit outta me. (It's just something I say, don't ask) Can you tell me how to make them see it my way? Cause I really don't feel like deleting the blog. I might actually get some good advice sometime this century. Or not. Anyway, help me if you can.
Yours forever,
Skylar

Dear Skylar,
Im not exacly the type of person to ask that...

Best of Luck,
Billie Joe.


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Dear Billie Joe,
I often have slash dreams about you, Jeff Hardy from WWE and a piece of sliced cheese.

What is my problem, and what can I do to stop this unusual fantasies?

Love,
CrazyCheeseDreams

Dear CrazyCheeseDreams
Well, to start with I'm slightly flattered but I'm not too sure my wife would be too pleased...
Anyway, do you eat weird stuff before you go to sleep? Cheese gives people weird dreams. And try to think of bunnies or something before you go to sleep. Apparently, you dream about what you think about before you go to sleep.
Eh, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Love,
Billie.

PS. All I know is that sleeping by a human head messed with Mike's head. He had nightmares for ages. Hope that gave you an idea...

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Dear Billie,
Since I've started back at school after the summer holidays I really can't be bothered anymore. My concentration goes out the window and I think about random stuff. (Mainly Green Day related.) Especially in French class (which I don't understand...), I resort to drawing usually. Any tips for lasting school?
Love you always,
Hari.

Dear Jasmine,
It's coz they're fucking assholes. Listen to Platypus, you'll feel better.
I saw an advert for Ask.com maybe that's better.

Don't tolerate the bastards.
Love,
Billie

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Dear Billie,
I started playing the guitar in Feburary and I love it. But I feel like I'd to progress quicker than the lessons are currently going. I'd love to play some more Green Day songs but they're compliated and the lessons arn't covering that stuff yet. Where/how can I progress and do harder stuff?
Love you and your guitar playing...
Hari

Dear Hari.
Thats a tough question. Maybe you could hire a Guitar teacher and ask him/her to teach you GD songs, but in a simple way
Love Ya,
Billie

Dear Billie.
At my school, mostly everyone listens to HipHop/Pop/Rap/Urban/Techno, but I listen to Rock/PunkRock/Ska/Electronic/HardRock and RockPop, making me the outcast.
They say I listen to 'Emo Shit' and tell me to 'Fuck off and slit your wrists.'
Being a wise one like yourself, do you have any advice?
Yours Forever,
Jasmine
I

Dear Jasmine,
You shouldn't give a fuck about what they say. They're the ones who listen to the shitty music. But always remember, if they do give you shit just give them the middle finger or something. You know?
Just remember you're awsome.
Billie

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Dear Billie,
I'm having trouble trying to sleep () sometimes. It really annoys me. I can't go to sleep when it's silent and I get a horrible anxiety feeling. Listening to music does help but 'apparently' it makes you go deaf eventualy. I'm not up for medication... How do you get to sleep when you can't? Advise?
I talk to my posters of you.
Hari

Dear Jasmine

you need to get rid of food that snakes would be likely to eat such as mice and insects as it will attract them and seal all openings with mortar
Hope that works , Billie

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Dear Billie
Everyone is giving me shit about a guy that i really like - they are saying that 16 year olds shouldnt like 30 year olds and they say "that it is wrong to like this guy"

Please help
Hannah