Mike's Quotes

trohmaniac87:

my personal favorite is:

"my daughter's middle name is Steve"

Where n when? D:

Boobmeister:

"I've been cuffed in my underwear"

uh-huh....




has no idea what he means...
*im very slow...maybe i'll understand tomorrow...*XD

Sumthin Smushi:

Boobmeister:

"I've been cuffed in my underwear"

uh-huh....




has no idea what he means...
*im very slow...maybe i'll understand tomorrow...*XD

He says somewhere else (it had to do with not actually being arrested, yet coming close) that he has been in his boxers and in the back of a cop car. So, wearing handcuffs while in underwear. Don't worry I thought it said, "I've been cuffed by my underwear"

I had a girlfriend, but she left me for Jesus.

Sumthin Smushi:

in an interview in 91...when asked about girls...

Mike: two years, then she found the lord, and dumped me, for jesus!
Interviewer: no lie?
Mike: no lie! she moved down to southern california went into a christian college and now she's GONE!.....but whaterver fuck her too!

Mike: it was nice in the beginng, but then i turned into the shithead.
Interviewer: well, u started wearing them DAMN clothes!!
Mike *with a smile of confidence*:...well u know, she just didnt understand my artistic sense...my FASHION statement!XD

That whole interview is my fave Mike quotes/ interview.
The dance he does makes me piss myself laughing..... not literally.

gniroB sI lamroN:

Sumthin Smushi:

in an interview in 91...when asked about girls...

Mike: two years, then she found the lord, and dumped me, for jesus!
Interviewer: no lie?
Mike: no lie! she moved down to southern california went into a christian college and now she's GONE!.....but whaterver fuck her too!

Mike: it was nice in the beginng, but then i turned into the shithead.
Interviewer: well, u started wearing them DAMN clothes!!
Mike *with a smile of confidence*:...well u know, she just didnt understand my artistic sense...my FASHION statement!XD

That whole interview is my fave Mike quotes/ interview.
The dance he does makes me piss myself laughing..... not literally.

actually he says "i went out with another girl and well, fuck her too. oops."

lyrical_gaah52:

gniroB sI lamroN:

Sumthin Smushi:

in an interview in 91...when asked about girls...

Mike: two years, then she found the lord, and dumped me, for jesus!
Interviewer: no lie?
Mike: no lie! she moved down to southern california went into a christian college and now she's GONE!.....but whaterver fuck her too!

Mike: it was nice in the beginng, but then i turned into the shithead.
Interviewer: well, u started wearing them DAMN clothes!!
Mike *with a smile of confidence*:...well u know, she just didnt understand my artistic sense...my FASHION statement!XD

That whole interview is my fave Mike quotes/ interview.
The dance he does makes me piss myself laughing..... not literally.

actually he says "i went out with another girl and well, fuck her too. oops."

lol...yea...sorry bout that...
thats my favortie interview ever!!...he's sooooo cute and stoned i wud love to have that yellow thing he was wearing XD

"alright well, since I have this all confused as to where did I come from, where did you come from and where the milkman went, uh this is Mike Dirnt signing out and you'll have to figure it out on your own."

Left Hearted Cold Blooded:

"alright well, since I have this all confused as to where did I come from, where did you come from and where the milkman went, uh this is Mike Dirnt signing out and you'll have to figure it out on your own."

okay....

didnt get a thing...

Sumthin Smushi:

Left Hearted Cold Blooded:

"alright well, since I have this all confused as to where did I come from, where did you come from and where the milkman went, uh this is Mike Dirnt signing out and you'll have to figure it out on your own."

okay....

didnt get a thing...

That's "Where Babies Come From/How Babies Are Made" from Lowie's radio interview with the Dirnt

"Tré doesn't have to use a condom. He has a hugely overlapping foreskin. He just ties it in a knot."

I don't know where it's from. I found it on a website.

From the CBGB concert:

"You know, this place is way better than Gilman Street."

"And you know what else is cool? Right now, right now on Gilman Street it's past our curfew."

"Ahhhh, shit."

(Mike's going on about the sound problem, Billie Joe wants to continue playing)
MIKE: I can't tell if it's plugged in or not. Can you hear it? (points to someone) Good. No? I can't--you know, I'm doin' it (make bass-playing motions). I swear I'm doin' it.
BILLIE JOE: It sounds good. Alright. It's fine. Who cares. (turns to audience) Any requests, requests, requests?
MIKE: I don't think I can turn it up any more.
BILLIE JOE: (to someone in the audience) What's that? Replacements? A replacements song?
MIKE: Hey, how can I turn it up?
BILLIE JOE: IT SOUNDS FINE! FUCK IT!

MIKE: Can you guys hear everything? Not that it really matters. I need more beer!
BILLIE JOE: Does anyone have a beer?
MIKE: Here, I'm buying. (pulls money out of his pocket and throws it into the crowd) Here. I'm buying. Fuck it. We're rich, right? (turns around with bass, aimlessly, turns back and points to guy in thee crowd) Hey, hey buddy! I want a beer outta that. Keep the money.
TRE: I don't need a fuckin' beer because I got green blood all over that drumset. The last drummer bled all over like a stuffed hog, man. I love it. I'm drinking that shit. I'm lickin' it up.

"I'm not gonna say we have don't have too much beer but it's fucked up not to share, right?" (passes his beer to person in the crowd)

"Hey, check it out, man. It's almost like we got a rider."

"We're trying, but we're just not that good at it anymore."

"You know what? Check it out. We did all sorts of shit. We did _____ today, we did fuckin' Letterman, and then I had to talk a friend of mine outta fuckin' killin' himself, and then I got st-st--stap--taken away to a fuckin' party with alcohol, and now I'm here with you guys. Thank you. You know why? 'Cause the rest of that fuckin' shit is a wash."

"We should be paying you guys."

"Damn. Dayum."

"Old shit! Old shit! Th--fuckin'...old shit. Wh-what old shit do we have? Fuck. We got fuckin' six records."

BILLIE JOE: (singing 'Longview') "...my mother says to get a job--"
MIKE: FUCK THAT!

(When a girl on stage wants to stage-dive)
MIKE: Come forward. Come forward, you evil minions. Come forward, you evil people. You dirty sinners. Come forward. You must catch this--wait, wait. You gotta get some air in here. You gotta back up and get some air. You're gonna catch her, right? Goddamnit, I haven't seen a stage dive in almost--
(Girl does LAME ASS stage dive)
BILLIE: Look at that. She's stage diving.
MIKE: YEAH!

"We can play '409.'"

"BLIZZARD OF OZ!! CRAZY TRAIN!!"

"Isn't there a game we could play?

(Someone's keys get onstage)
MIKE: Hey, the key to the city!
BILLIE JOE: (to someone in the crowd) Oh, are these yours?
MIKE: Or the keys to the bathroom.
BILLIE JOE: The key. To. The. City.
MIKE: No, the key to the bathroom.
BILLIE JOE: You get the key to New Jersey.

"Smothered, covered, scattered, smothered...covered."

"It's like tryin' to slide on a half-wet Slip-N-Slide, man. It just doesn't happen. But, BUT! Those who try are welcome to the burn."

BILLIE JOE: I know, let's play 'Blood Sex & Booze.'
MIKE: Man, I'm drunk. I don't give a fuck what you play.

I saw the last bit of that. It was on Youtube. I don't remember why I watched it...but yeah. Twas funny.

Gawd. I think he would be like "O_O" if he realized half the things he said when he was drunk and young. But he wouldn't regret them!

lyrical_gaah52:

I saw the last bit of that. It was on Youtube. I don't remember why I watched it...but yeah. Twas funny.

Gawd. I think he would be like "O_O" if he realized half the things he said when he was drunk and young. But he wouldn't regret them!

It was only six years ago. He was just 28 then...not like being 34, now, is old.

"The girl scouts are my favorite girl group!"

"Kill the whales, save the plankton."

"The only fun that ever happens is onstage."

Steelroots Revolution:

"Tré doesn't have to use a condom. He has a hugely overlapping foreskin. He just ties it in a knot."

oh wow! XD

I wonder if they ever found the owner of the bathroom/city/New Jersey key...

"Dogs are gonna take over the world. It's a known fact for those who believe it, kinda like the Bible."

"How many punk rockers does it take to screw in a light bulb (Tre: how many?) uh… um…um let me think… two! One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick."