Depression.

Almost everyone in my family is depressed. My mom, dad, and brother all suffer from depression. My mom and dad take pills for it. My brother used to. For a while I thought I was the only 'normal' one. But then I started feeling depressed. I would sometimes cut myself (which were more or less scratches but a bit more severe) on my inner thighs and arms. I don't do that anymore.

But I told my parents and I met with a psychiatrist. I felt... silly. I don't know why. But I never went back. I felt better but I do get a lot of mood swings and also I do get depressed every once in a while. It can be bad, but doesn't really last long.

I'm pretty sure I've suffered with depression most of my life. I've always been cast aside as "different" from people because of my disability. When I was younger and kids it wasn't bad because when you're a kid, all you want is someone to play with and it doesn't matter if they're disabled or not. Once I hit 3rd or 4th grade and kids started to realize that I was different then them, a lot of them cut me off and I lost a lot of friends. I became a bit wild and cut people off if they were trying to help me or make me feel better. I went to therapy for about 2 years or so and took Paxil for quite a few years. Then in 6th grade I went to a boarding school in MA for other people who were like me and for those 3 years I was happy but I was always upset about something, whether it was something happening in my dorm, the houseparents being bitchy, etc. I was never fully happy and satisfied, there was always something that needed to bother me. When I was in 7th grade I wanted to stop taking the Paxil so my parents allowed me to slowly cut my dosage and eventually I stopped taking it. I was somewhat happy and satisfied.

Then in 9th grade I had to leave that school because it only went to 8th grade and there I left all my friends that I had made and shared so much in common with. I went to a small private school and once again was the only deaf person and I've tried to deal with it but I became depressed once again and would cry almost every night to my parents and my parents would try to help me but I despised going to therapy becuase I hate talking to people about my feelings and everything that goes on in my head. I went to therapy for about 5 or 6 months but I refused to talk to the woman and would not say anything during my sessions because I knew I didn't want to talk to her at all and I hate therapists for some odd reason.

Anyways, basically I'm still sorta depressed. Last year was actually better for a while. I got into playing guitar and its sorta therapy for me, but now that I don't have many friends, I have noone to share music with and that depresses me because its only fun playing guitar by yourself for so long. It still makes me happier, and I still play it ofc. I got a new job over the summer and made some new friends and I was happier for a while but then they started becoming best friends and leaving me out and now this school year started and I've gotten depressed again but I don't tell my parents because I don't want them to take me to a therapist again and I really have noone to talk about it with. I've never been depressed to a point where I wanna hurt myself, I've thought about it, but never did it. I couldn't stand to hurt myself, and I'm not that strong.

anyways... shit. I really didn't mean to ramble and go on.

suzie_k:

I think it's interesting too.
Just the fact that people who do suffer from it have no real reason. Where as you have peopled who have had major upset and don't suffer depression to the same extent.

That's not always true. I know people who have suffered from it and have had a major upset.

You can't just say that it's "no real reason". Because obviously something did happen, even if it's big or small, something did happen o.O

For me, it was just a build up of everything. Ever since I was little, I was bullied, I only had a few friends, I never told anything, I would just keep it all bottled up inside. It's gotten to the point where I hate going in public because I'm so scared something will happen.

It's not just the bullying though, a lot of things have happened to me, to be honest I don't even remember what half of them are. But it just all built up, and then turned into this.

But I mean, you can't just say that people who suffer from it have no real reason, and just judging from yourself.

I agree with Coff...

For myself, the trigger event was my dad dying from cancer when I was 2. BUT it wasn't that in itself but rather the ripple effect his death had on my mother who in turn withdrew from life in her own depression.

My whole problem was that I never knew anythig different and that's a hinder for me getting better. I don't know HOW to live any other way. I'm scared to lose what identiy I do have and scared in becoming a new person.

I agree with Coff (couldn't help to notice we were born the same date) too.

As I tried to say before, there's always a reason. And you can't really now if this or that person has or hasn't a reason for being depressed, as there is so many people who keep things to themselves, maybe thsoe who you think have no reason to be depressed are jsut keeping whatever they feel is wrong only to themselves, just making them mroe depressed, by the way.

Um, I don't know what I should say about this.

I've taken tests that say I am...but I have a hard time believing it. Like I'm too young to know how bad life can get...but I can't ignore what feelings I get. I always have those symptoms. I don't know understand...'cause I'm all mixed up. I don't want to create a diary here...this is discussing depression, not me...but I'm not happy. I have never been on meds, and I have never been to a psychiatrist.

Today was the worst I've ever felt in my life.

Love my insanity:

According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:


Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain




I copied this from a site. I hope I dont get in trouble for it.

I don't like feeling like this.

A Melancholy Autumn:

Love my insanity:

According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:


Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain




I copied this from a site. I hope I dont get in trouble for it.

I don't like feeling like this.

you can also get depsression from within, which is caused by a long term illness which you cant get rid of,

CristhyneS:

It doesn't work like that. As lyrical said, it's also related to a hormones imbalance in your brain, so if you have a hormonal imbalence you can also feel the symptoms of depression even if you haven't got a trigger.

Yeah...sometimes I have no clue why the hell I feel so bad. I try to make up excuses as to why I do...but it just comes back one solution: no reason at all.

I--urg, I don't even know what I'm saying..

I believe that it really is a clincal (and proven) illness. I mean I've been diagnosed with it by my psychologist and I've been dealing with for years and years now. I do have most of the symptoms that classify depression.

Why are people still using the Suicide and Self Harm thread for talking about depression? They are such different things, I just don't understand why people are unable to tear them apart from one another. >_<

And whilst we're on the subject and so that I'm not spamming completely... I feel very depressed now. I used to think that you couldn't feel depressed without having depression, but now I understand that depression is both and illness and a feeling.

[/pointless]

Love my insanity:

According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:


Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain




I copied this from a site. I hope I dont get in trouble for it.

Oh bugger bum poo piss.

Love my insanity:

According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:


Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain




I copied this from a site. I hope I dont get in trouble for it.

Oh my god, all of these apply to me(except for the suicide attempt.) I have headaches alot, i can't fall asleep at night, but when i do fall asleep i have trouble waking up. I Feel restless and i am VERY irritable. I'm always tired, the only thing i can remember is movie lines and lyrics. I almost always feel empty. Wow, i guess i am depressed.

Love my insanity:

According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:


Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain




I copied this from a site. I hope I dont get in trouble for it.

yup. i used to feel everything on that list. few years ago...when i was 13. i brealy slept 3 hours a day n that went on for about 4 months. i lost so much weight n was never in the mood. i nearly commited suicide, but my sister stopped me.
my parents sent me to therapy...they thought it wud help, but it didnt. i felt like a retard talking to a stranger about problems that were happening which i had no idea why they were there in the first place.
but basically in the end i found comfort being with close friends n gettin into music.
i guess how i handled it in the end was by finding something or someone that cud put me back in my comfort zone.

This might be naive from a not depressed person, but I think depression is a kind of point of view.
There are things that get some people majorly depressed, and others just get over it..

And also, you see and hear alot more about depression, so Idk I think it helps getting people depressed 'cause they know what depression is and that some people with their syptoms have it and stuff.. :/

A Melancholy Autumn:

CristhyneS:

It doesn't work like that. As lyrical said, it's also related to a hormones imbalance in your brain, so if you have a hormonal imbalence you can also feel the symptoms of depression even if you haven't got a trigger.

Yeah...sometimes I have no clue why the hell I feel so bad. I try to make up excuses as to why I do...but it just comes back one solution: no reason at all.

I--urg, I don't even know what I'm saying..

I know what you are saying, there are times i feel bad for the sake of feeling bad, not necessarily for attention or to be "emo", but just to feel bad about one thing or another that i shouldnt.

i guess i have been really depressed, the other day my mom asked me if i would see a therapist (i'm not kidding here) becuase she doens't want to see me keep shutting people out of my life. i don't think i really need to see one, i mean i deal with it in my own way, i guess, and that way is MUSIC. if i didn't have Green Day and my other music, i really don't know where i would be right now. I was kind of surprised when she brought that up to me... and i mean its not like i don't get it out AT ALL. i write too. and i have a journal. i have several different outlets. If i won't talk to the people closest to me, what makes her think i will talk to some complete stranger...

Make you Smile.:

This might be naive from a not depressed person, but I think depression is a kind of point of view.
There are things that get some people majorly depressed, and others just get over it..

And also, you see and hear alot more about depression, so Idk I think it helps getting people depressed 'cause they know what depression is and that some people with their syptoms have it and stuff.. :/

Well, to the first paragraph, kind of. Like, I would take things to heart, and I tend to get really mad/upset/frustrated/start crying when it's just something really little. But it's not so much a point of view as something that just can't be helped. Like, eurgh iunno how to explain it. Depression itself isn't a point of view, that's an imbalance of chemicals in your brain.

But when you get upset over stupid things, that the depression, which is forcing you to see it in different light. Like, if you don't have depression, then you don't get upset over it, but .. yeah do you see what I mean?

And to the second paragraph, I agree. Some people may just get upset because they're incredibly sensitive, or because they're really spoiled. And they see that, and they think "Oh, I have depression" and start to believe it, and it eventually turns into depression.

I've been diagnosed with depression when I was 11. Around the age of 13-14 I took some medication.

I got out of it last year thanks to good will only.
It never hurts to try.
Maybe the glass is half full anyway.

depression is a daily thing for me. i think i may snap one day.....it won't be pretty...

i need help.

At least at this point in time i can take me mind off things.