Depression.

I could be diagnosed with it.
But, outside the internet and one close friend I will almost never talk about it.
To me its a weakness and I don't want to be exposed.

I had OCD tendencies and I didn't tell anyone whilst I had them, I learnt not to be in that mindset and I got over it. It was hard but I did it.

So why can't I fix myself this time?
Thats my philosophy.
I can tell my friend is worried about me but.. I just can't tell anyone.

I'm afraid.

SAINT™:

I could be diagnosed with it.
But, outside the internet and one close friend I will almost never talk about it.
To me its a weakness and I don't want to be exposed.

I had OCD tendencies and I didn't tell anyone whilst I had them, I learnt not to be in that mindset and I got over it. It was hard but I did it.

So why can't I fix myself this time?
Thats my philosophy.
I can tell my friend is worried about me but.. I just can't tell anyone.

I'm afraid.

Sounds so much like me. I'm really paranoid about what other people talk about/do. I'm scared that they'd 'get' me if they had the chance (Yes, it sounds stupid, I know). 'S why I'll only talk about it on the Internet, to people who'll I'll never meet, and one close friend. And even then, I'm afraid they'll tell someone, and then they'll 'get' me ( ) It sounds so stupid, but I can't help the way I think. I mean, I've tried before to ignore these thoughts and get rid of them. But they always seem to catch up with me. And most of the time, they're worse than the were before.

I'm scared to tell anyone in any position to help me. I'm afraid they'll mock me or whatever. And my parents, I can't tell them. They wouldn't believe me. And even if they did, I don't think they'd be able to help me.

Sorry if that made no sense whatsoever

no it made sense.

im afraid that my parents or people in a position to help me will think that im depressed because of some other shit like.. idunno bullying? something at school, they will blame it on ANYTHING other than what it is.

Its there because really, its always been there.
Ive always felt this massive void in me, the type that makes me feel empty, hollow and worthless.

Only when I got older could I find out what the void was called.

I don't know if I'm depressed. I've been self-harming since about May - nothing serious just small cuts on my arms and ankles. I've got some ugly scars on my ankles and thighs but that's my own fault. Anyways, I get angry and frustrated really quickly, especially with my parents - for no or little reason most of the time. I then feel like crying or cutting myself. I dread school - some of the kids are horrible - but they arn't that bad - and I still dread it. Every morning when I wake up I get a sinking feeling and wish I didn't have to go to school. My boyfriend want's to go out with his own friends sometimes - including his best friend that is a girl - and whenever he doesn't invite me I feel all sorry for myself. I know I'm pathetic. I don't know if I'm depressed or what but my friend tells me to get help and my other friend say's I'm being daft 'cause I have no reason to feel like this. I could never tell my parents.

xstarry_nightsx:

my other friend say's I'm being daft 'cause I have no reason to feel like this.

people really love to throw that out there as an excuse not to make an effort to care for their friends.

i hate that so much.

if theres one thing ive learnt about self harm its that no drugs, no miracles and nobody OTHER than YOURSELF can stop it.

its a personal decision to start so its also a personal decision to stop.

ive known people that have just stopped.
then theres others that cut down [pardon pun] on how much they did it, untill they got to the point that they rarely do it.

its either a cold turkey or weening thing.

but you can only ever stop if YOU want to stop.

i hate it SO EFFING MUCH

i hate wanting to die

its a shit feeling, ay?
*hug

What's the difference between depression, manic depression and bipolar disorder?

Love my insanity:

According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:

Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain .

well, going by that list I'd have to count myself (and a lot of people I know) as being depressed
how long has everyone on here been feeling like this?
there's supposed to be a certain amount of time before it counts as more than just a bad mood or pms or something...

here's a great idea, let's make a thread outside of the suicide and self harm threads so we can talk about how depressed we are and how much our life is horrible and act as if we aren't all on hormones

spill_no_sick:

here's a great idea, let's make a thread outside of the suicide and self harm threads so we can talk about how depressed we are and how much our life is horrible and act as if we aren't all on hormones

I have an even BETTER idea... how about losing the attitude.

sampalletband:

I have an even BETTER idea... how about losing the attitude.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

stardust:

What's the difference between depression, manic depression and bipolar disorder?

Maniac Depression and Bipolar Disorder is the same thing (As far as I know anyways..)

It's where you have both incredible highs and lows. It's called maniac depression because of the feeling when you're on a high. You can feel like you're on top of the world. Then you can go to a feeling that leaves you wanting to die.

Depression is basically just the low.

A Melancholy Autumn:

sampalletband:

I have an even BETTER idea... how about losing the attitude.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

you all come here to vent your frustrations and lash out against societies rules on emotions and I'm doing the same

spill_no_sick:

you all come here to vent your frustrations and lash out against societies rules on emotions and I'm doing the same

Okay.. let's rephase that....

as a MODERATOR I am telling you to change your attitude

I thikn you need to re-read this; GSB rules and Regulations and pay attention to #7

sampalletband:

Okay.. let's rephase that....

as a MODERATOR I am telling you to change your attitude

I thikn you need to re-read this; GSB rules and Regulations and pay attention to #7

I think Nick knows all about MODERATORS.

But he has a point.
http://www.geekstinkbreath.net/board/view/personal/
You can talk about personal depression there.
You can debate and discuss depression here.

I guess some of us purists would like to keep this section as a debate section and use the other forums for the more personal stuff.
^_^

Bloodraine:

I guess some of us purists would like to keep this section as a debate section and use the other forums for the more personal stuff.
^_^

but something like depression IS personal... and some of the best debates come from PERSONAL experiance

I suppose that I could be categorized as depressed. I have periods where I just can't deal with anything and just hate myself. I hit the worst low ever.

But I haven't bothered with a doctor or prescription because I wouldn't take the prescription, and I don't need my parents giving me shit about it.

I've worked through these low points each time, with help from my friends, so I don't see the need for a formal diagnosis and a bottle of pills.

sampalletband:

spill_no_sick:

you all come here to vent your frustrations and lash out against societies rules on emotions and I'm doing the same

Okay.. let's rephase that....

as a MODERATOR I am telling you to change your attitude

I thikn you need to re-read this; GSB rules and Regulations and pay attention to #7

okay, then allow me to rephrase what I wanted to say

this isn't a fucking thread for talking about your personal problems
it's about raising awareness and figuring shit out that the government tends to overlook, talking about the research done, and what we should do to make it better
NOT FOR FUCKING SYMPATHY, NOT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS

I believe we have journals for that

I don't go into the suicide topic uploading pictures of my arms and talking about ways I've tried to kill myself, I talk about understanding

I think by the second post on here we abused rule #9
I have to admit I've done it a million times before, but you're accusing me of #7 and I wasn't being hateful, I was angred at how we lost the topic
and personally this is an important topic to understand

and of course I know the moderator rules, this section was my idea and I suggested Dujo made me and NeoSteph moderators of it

and Steph's still doing a good job

spill_no_sick:

sampalletband:

spill_no_sick:

you all come here to vent your frustrations and lash out against societies rules on emotions and I'm doing the same

Okay.. let's rephase that....

as a MODERATOR I am telling you to change your attitude

I thikn you need to re-read this; GSB rules and Regulations and pay attention to #7

okay, then allow me to rephrase what I wanted to say

this isn't a fucking thread for talking about your personal problems
it's about raising awareness and figuring shit out that the government tends to overlook, talking about the research done, and what we should do to make it better
NOT FOR FUCKING SYMPATHY, NOT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS

I believe we have journals for that

I don't go into the suicide topic uploading pictures of my arms and talking about ways I've tried to kill myself, I talk about understanding

I think by the second post on here we abused rule #9
I have to admit I've done it a million times before, but you're accusing me of #7 and I wasn't being hateful, I was angred at how we lost the topic
and personally this is an important topic to understand

and of course I know the moderator rules, this section was my idea and I suggested Dujo made me and NeoSteph moderators of it

and Steph's still doing a good job

Hey dude, here's a thought. Chill out, everyone has their opinion but this isn't the hate thread, either. This is an important thread where people talk about their experiences and thoughts, not how we pathetic it is. Since you kinda are talking with a MODERATOR you should back off (Just a suggestion), it's common sense, that's why their names are in bold.