The GSB Writers Circle.

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lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 11th, 2006 at 09:43am
Yo people! I thought we needed a writers' circle and I couldn't find one...so I'm starting it! Shake

K, the rules are simple. Every fortnight, there will be a new topic and everyone and anyone can post their poems pertaining to that topic. For example, if the topic was "fragility", then people could post poems about what that word means to them, the fragility of an object, a person, a relationship they've had, or anything else that has anything at all to do with fragility.

You make a separate topic for your Writers Circle Poem with the name of the poem as the topic title. And in the little description box, you have to put "Writers Circle - [topic]" and everyone comments over there and the link is posted in here until the new topic, which will be posted here as well.


The poem doesn’t have to be written specifically for the Writers’ Circle, it can be something you've written before and that you think would go really well with the topic. So #8 does not apply to this particular thread meaning that if you have posted a poem in the Poetry forum you can still post it for this thread. You can’t post the same poem twice within this thread though.

You can comment on the poems that others have posted during that fortnight, and you're encouraged to do (but not forced), and as per the Poetry Thread rules: no useless flames or compliments. You must say what you like or dislike, offer improvements or constructive critisicm. But you don't have to comment if you don't want to follow those rules. Retard

When the topic changes at the end of a fortnight, someone new will choose the new topic. For example, Person A chooses a topic. Then 2 weeks later, Person A chooses someone (person B) who chooses the next topic. Then, Person B chooses Person C. Person C choose the next topic. And when the time for a new topic arrives Person C may choose anyone she/he likes to start it and so on. But all those people are requested not to choose someone who's already been chosen once. Let's try and make sure all the GSB poets get a chance to choose!


Are my instructions not clear? (Mod-person...?) PM me if you're confused.

I'm gonna start! Whee! Okay, the topic for December 11 to December 25 is:...*drumroll*......

Simplicity

Have fun!
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 12:17pm
You chose a difficult topic Wink
Simplicity = Ease, Straightforwardness, Effortlessness, Plainness, Minimalism, Unfussiness, Cleanness


This old poem is pretty straightforward


ATTENTION! Just take it already.

Crawl into a lonely hole and die,
Say your prayers, say goodbye,
Hold you breathe until you choke,
Put an end to this joke.

The rope suits the three in the yard,
Kick the bucket, kick it hard.
Raise a tombstone over your mind
And leave all of this behind.

Your life is no more fun than these simple rhymes
Just admit it, it is the biggest waste of all times,
Actually not even worth mentioning at all,
It is too insignificant, it is a thing so small,
So let’s end it before this grows way dull.
Here’s a hammer “ crack open your skull.







Nope, not directed to anyone specific, no I don’t hate and I wasn’t angry/upset when I wrote it.
I just tried to capture a feeling and an atmosphere (among other things).
And remember, in poems you have a lyrical me or a speaker. The lyrical me talks in first person.
Just don't mistake the lyrical me for the writer, that’s not always the case Wink
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 11th, 2006 at 12:27pm
lmfao Yeah, I dunno what's wrong with me, but that cracked me up. I love the last two lines. I guess it's a simple solution : Go kill yourself, moron. lmfao that's probably not what you're saying at all, but that's what I got out of it. But I still liked it.
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 11th, 2006 at 12:32pm
Did I mention that it doesn't have to be a new poem written for the Writers Circle, only? Yeah, it can be something you've written before and you thought it would go really well with this topic. K, I have a poem I wrote in seventh grade for English class.

Simplicity
The song of a bird
The rustle of a tree
Such little things
Seem special to me.

Money's a waste
Rich food has no taste
Worldly possesions
Are overthought of in haste

A newborn rabbit
The cry of a hound
Nature's simplicity
Makes the world go round.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 12:55pm
lyrical_gaah52:
Did I mention that it doesn't have to be a new poem written for the Writers Circle, only?

No, but I fixed that Cool

lyrical_gaah52:
lmfao Yeah, I dunno what's wrong with me, but that cracked me up. I love the last two lines. I guess it's a simple solution : Go kill yourself, moron. lmfao that's probably not what you're saying at all, but that's what I got out of it. But I still liked it.


You’re not all that weird actually. It’s sort of supposed to be amusing, or you know, ironic. I think you did a real nice (read good) interpretation actually Laughing

Now about your poem. I like it, it’s pretty good. Very simple in structure and choice or words but real good when it comes to the rhyming scheme (not forced), the phrasing, and the way the topic is presented. I like how a simple poem presenting such simple things can be so powerful. The theme of your poem (or the poem’s spirit w/e) reminds me of the essence of Between Angels and Insects by Papa Roach. I love that song Very Happy
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 01:11pm
Love Is

Love is not
Absurd seeking for a
Lifetime slavery.

Love is only
A test for those in need
Of unconditional friendship.








ew.
The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
The Doctor
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 8785

Mibba Blog
December 11th, 2006 at 01:31pm
Simplicity.

The vomit fumes
does not exclude your
visage from view.

How mutually destructive,
you and I.

You.

You with
your flashing teeth like
fairy lights; your incarnadine
irises. That memorable
ursine howl that
beckoned me for dinner.

How heavy your malicious
and so delicately vicious
chains weigh my neck down.

The chicken burns like
you will burn, don't you know?

Of course not, my mental
superiority is no match for you,
horned mistress.

You promise potions and lotions
to cure all sorts of maladies and tragedies.

You cause them; you are no
heroine, you are the cause of
my angst, pain.

You are my septaciema.

Why?

Was it too much to ask for?
A simple blind eye to my lover?

Of course, simplicity is too
complicated for you.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 01:35pm
About Quote Pyramids

If you need to quote to avoid confusion that’s fine but let’s not quote more than about three persons. Simply put: long quote pyramids are not acceptable. They are difficult to read, take up room on the board and generally they are a bunch of nonsense. Also blank quotes are spam and spam can get you temporarily banned.

View this as a rule for this thread Cool (#No long quote pyramids)


So remember:
Image ©
Picture provided by Over-Rated
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 11th, 2006 at 02:36pm
What's in a name?:
Now about your poem. I like it, it’s pretty good. Very simple in structure and choice or words but real good when it comes to the rhyming scheme (not forced), the phrasing, and the way the topic is presented. I like how a simple poem presenting such simple things can be so powerful. The theme of your poem (or the poem’s spirit w/e) reminds me of the essence of Between Angels and Insects by Papa Roach. I love that song Very Happy


Why thankee! I'm not much into Papa Roach, but thankee anyway. And I guess it should be simple, because its about well, being simple. Wink Hence...Simplicity *dramatic effect* I wrote lots of these kinds of poems a few years ago. Got bored of it though...
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 02:44pm
Uh...it has the word simplicities in it. Shifty

Lipstick Scribbles

Literary references abound- you’ve lost your point.
Overstated lipstick scribbles, crowded on the surface but empty within.
Simplicities ranging from “I” to “you”,
Double meanings you haven’t bothered to touch.
Is simple really complicated after all?

Better left open for interpretation;
It’s an individual’s mind that strips away inhibitions through saturation.
Infatuation and confusion go hand in hand, while
Misunderstanding reigns high because the static-ridden air is too loud.
Turn down the volume and we’ll hear that much more.

All we’ve picked out are the silhouettes;
The substance was a deserter, cowardly in all its significance.
But of course, comprehension seems to have lost importance
Throughout the vivid history of canvassed emotions.
To keep such art from the world would surely be a crime.

And so we have need to ask ourselves, was it really worth
All the secrecy when it could have been spoken from the start?
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
December 11th, 2006 at 03:13pm
Joan of Arc - it's deliciously like Sylvia Plath. This even more so than some of your other pieces. I think 'You promise potions and lotions to cure all sorts of maladies and tragedies' should be right... but with the little correction, it has to be my favourite line overall. Shocked It just stuck out to me so much.

Panda - It's... interesting. I say that because I'm sort of lost for words. It's something which makes you think so much. And I think you might be clinging onto the topic by a thread... Laughing

Rose - Yes, I remember it... so bitterly ironic, it hurts. Up
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 03:39pm
lyrical_gaah52:

Why thankee! I'm not much into Papa Roach, but thankee anyway. And I guess it should be simple, because its about well, being simple. Wink Hence...Simplicity *dramatic effect* I wrote lots of these kinds of poems a few years ago. Got bored of it though...

Yeah, it makes sense to write a simple poem about being simple Very Happy
I can see why you got bored of it though Wink
Ginger Nuts:

Rose - Yes, I remember it... so bitterly ironic, it hurts. Up

Surprised Never thought anyone would remember it! Thanks though ^-^
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 03:44pm
Ginger Nuts:
And I think you might be clinging onto the topic by a thread... Laughing
You think? Laughing
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
December 11th, 2006 at 03:48pm
Joan of Arc: The way you write poetry never ceases to amaze me. You have such a brilliant structure and a way with words that are amazing. Not to mention how you always succeed in truning your chosen topic into art.

Panda: Yeah, you might be just on topic so to say =P But as for the poem it’s awesome. I’ve always liked your style and I really like the kind of words you use and how you make it work. Your wording in combination with your imagery is outstanding.
wait_what
Geek
wait_what
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 411

Mibba Blog
December 13th, 2006 at 12:03pm
I need to come to this section more. I love these types of things! And I dreadfully need to write more. Anyway, here's my poem:

Promise Yourself This, Dear
Like a resonating song, the stars quickly
fade to beckon the new morning. Pity
surrounded as the sun refused to rise,
leaving the gray sky ugly in its wake. The
autumn leaves fall more deeply today, making
the trees’ simple arms become claws.

There was never a use for sadness, but
there has always been a need for simplicity
as the world turns and sense can no longer
achieve its definition. The striking hues
still outline, but are lamented in the still, yet crisp,
air. Time creeps at so burdensome a pace
when yearning stretches through the happiness
to end at something a little lower than desolate.

There is complexity in simplicity, but there
are still more stars yielding to a new day. One
more time
as the rays shatter through the
intricacy to deliver and derive just what
one would truly desire without any strings;
in an immaculately pure state; devoid of stains
this time on the once more beautiful day.
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 14th, 2006 at 11:47am
oh. My. Gawd. wait_what, that was so perfect. It was beautiful. I love the way you put the emphasis on certain phrases. And I adore your beginning. *adores*
wait_what
Geek
wait_what
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 411

Mibba Blog
December 14th, 2006 at 02:27pm
(I forgot to put this in yesterday... My bad.)

What’s in a name?- While I’m not crazy about rhymes, this one is pretty cool. I do like the darkish humor present in it… It made me giggle a bit. Especially the last lines. The rhyming is a bit cliché, but you also said it was an old poem, so it’s all good. Wink

lyrical_gaah52- I absolutely love how the poem, overall, is just a simple, clean, clear poem. The rhyme scheme gets a bit confusing as you changed in the second stanza with waste, taste, and haste. Other than that, it’s really good.

Ella- Very short and simple. I really like it. Especially the first stanza, it’s really quite a powerful poem for being so short.

Joan of Arc of Suburbia- Holy shit. Very VERY reminiscent of Sylvia Plath. Extremely powerful… It’s almost scary. Like, if it’s written for anyone, they should be scared. Wink Very apt metaphors and images. I love the line, “You with/ your flashing teeth like/ fairy lights; your incarnadine /irises. That memorable/ ursine howl that/ beckoned me for dinner.” Absolutely wonderful! The line breaks are also amazing. Good job!

Panda- I love love LOVE that first line. Excellent poem, as always. Wink I really love the overall feeling generated from the writer as conveyed to the reader. It’s interesting. Awesome metaphors and images. Just an excellent poem.



lyrical_gaah52:
oh. My. Gawd. wait_what, that was so perfect. It was beautiful. I love the way you put the emphasis on certain phrases. And I adore your beginning. *adores*


Embarassed Thank you.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
December 14th, 2006 at 02:59pm
wait_what:

What’s in a name?- While I’m not crazy about rhymes, this one is pretty cool. I do like the darkish humor present in it… It made me giggle a bit. Especially the last lines. The rhyming is a bit cliché, but you also said it was an old poem, so it’s all good. Wink

Me neither Very Happy
I know it is and that’s not because it’s old, it’s because it’s supposed to look that way. Real blunt and cliché. It adds to the sarcastic effect Cool (or it’s supposed to anyway =] ). But thank you. ^_^
The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
The Doctor
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 8785

Mibba Blog
December 14th, 2006 at 03:58pm
What's In A Name :- I love the simplicity of this. It's got a whole...FOD vibe. The flows a bit chunky in places but very...nice song material. I'd guess.

lyrical_gaah52:- That's quite good, I love the ideas behind the nature of beauty and such. It's not really pondered much here. I just am irked by the lack of punctuation XD sorry.

Ella: I am exceedingly jealous of you. You can say a million words; condensed into a few. It was almost two Haikus really...running into each other. If you made them Haikus then that would be sweet but it's good the way it is.

Panda: Naughty Not really to the subject but it's gorgeous. I LOVE your freakin' word choice. LOVE.

wait_what:- I love how you described the narrators mood through the metaphors of the weather.It's very...Robert Browing (Porpheria's Lover Wink )
wait_what
Geek
wait_what
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 411

Mibba Blog
December 14th, 2006 at 07:26pm
What's in a name?:
wait_what:

What’s in a name?- While I’m not crazy about rhymes, this one is pretty cool. I do like the darkish humor present in it… It made me giggle a bit. Especially the last lines. The rhyming is a bit cliché, but you also said it was an old poem, so it’s all good. Wink

Me neither Very Happy
I know it is and that’s not because it’s old, it’s because it’s supposed to look that way. Real blunt and cliché. It adds to the sarcastic effect Cool (or it’s supposed to anyway =] ). But thank you. ^_^


Oh. I get it! That works. Very Happy
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