Ask Teh Dirnt.

Dear #1 Tree Hugger,
Trees give the best hugs, little known fact..... don't ask how I know that.
- The Best Bassist Ever

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Dear Dude with the awesome hair,
I want a ferret, my mom won't let me get one and I think my dad thinks it's a joke.
What the hell should I do?
-Freak.

Dear Freak:
Tre says go out and buy ten, then let them loose in your parent's bedroom, but I'd say talk it out thoroughly with your parents. Show them that you're responsible enough for a pet. Maybe brown nose a little bit. Only a little bit.
Good luck!
Mikey Boy

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Dear Mike,
I'm in a "gifited and talented education' class, and I can't help but feel insecure about it. The other kids in the school expect us all (fifteen of us) to find the cure for cancer or something. I've been asked to help on math homework by friends of mine outside of the class, and have always been met with anger everytime I said I can't, that I'm not good in that area of schooling. They get angrier every time though, and they think I just don't want to help them and that I don't like them enough for that. What can I do to show them that I really, really can't help them out?
-Meh.

Dear Meh
Show them some proof you suck at math. I mean... proof that math isn't your... strongest area. And if they still keep after you, well fuck them. You don't need that kind of shit.
- The man who looks really good naked.

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Dear Bass God,
I can't seem to enjoy anything lately. All I ever want to do is sit around and do nothing. Anytime I get invited to hang with my friends, i just don't feel like it. I think my friends are starting to think i don't like them anymore. What is wrong with me and how can I fix it??
- Burned out and growing bored.

dear person,

that's what has been happening to me lately...its sucks ass too! i never feel like band practice and billie's like "dude wtf?" so what you should do is go hang out with your friends and see how much fun it is and sooner or later you'll get out of this "mood"

love
the dude with the hair that looks like he had a couple rounds with a toaster and a hair dryer

_______________________________-
dear---sexy-bass-player

my friend had sex...and i wanna tell her mom so she can get checked for deseases and stuff, but i dont want her to loose trust in me...any help??

-hyper-jellybeanicle-rollypolly person

Dear hyper chick with the really fuckin' long name,

I think you should talk to her first. Threatening is alwasy fun but this seems kinda serious. Talk to her and tell her all the shit that could happen and that you care. If she doesn't consider it, drag her to her mom.

-The Sex.

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Dear The Sex,

Fergilicious is stuck in my head and I'm ready to kill myself, help me out!

-Fergilicous hater.

dear fergilicious hater

i hate that song too, but tre is always going around singing it!! it was stuff in my head yesterday, all you do is listen to the safe auto commercials over and over again and soon enough the jingle will saty stuck in your head for a while (better than fergilicious!!)

--the bass playing sex god

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Dear sexy llama god,
my friend and i are bored...we need something to do!! so........give us an idea , we already raided my neighbor's trash and played dingdong ditch on everyone on the street, ran into walls, and almost killed my neighbor's cat.....oh and we pretended to have sex in a walmart bathroom stall...

we need more things to do

so....help...yeah


-blah llama lamppost moose calzone eating you

and

blah llama lamppost moose lasagna farting out billie joe

Dear Blah Ilama lamppost moose calzone eating you(and friend),
What you should try doing, is well, you should try to run away! I'm sure your Mommy and Daddy will be so worried they'll send you to therapy. And therapy is fun!
---Mike AKA The Hottest Man Alive
________________
Dear Mike(my love),
Sometimes, I feel like someone's watching me. And last night I found out my neighbor, Jakob is! He's a stalker I tell you! He asked me out(AHHHHH!) and I really don't want to go. I want to be nice about it though, but then again I want him to stop stalking me. Mike, what shall I do?
-----Too Sexy

Dear Iam2fly4u,
Maybe you could build up enough confidence, and ask your neighbor Jakob to stop stalking you? And if you don't want to go out with him, just tell him. Or, you could possibly get another girl and see if he likes her instead.

- Mike
___________________

Dear Mike,
Recently I have been rejected by my crush, because he has a girlfriend. I've liked him for 2 years, and now I'm crushed. I asked my other crush out, and he said he would never date me. Have any advice?

--- Desperate

Dear Desparate,
Don't get upset because two boys didn't have the same feelings for you as you did for them. You're still young and will find someone who loves you for you. Remember, both my marriages have failed, but I still am optimistic and I have the best friends I could ever have anyway. Just think about the good things in your life and it will all come together.
-Love Mike.

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Dear Mike,
I can't help but hate my "best" friend. Everything she does just gets on my nerves and I don't know why. I've talked to her about it, but she never seems to change, even though she promises she will. No matter how much time we spend apart, I just get angrier and angrier at the thought of her. I could stop being her friend completely, but I don't want to hurt my other friends by making them think they have to choose between us.
What do I do?????
-Exploding on the Inside

Dear Exploding on the inside,
Don't fret! teh Dirnt is here!
What exactly is it about your friend that gets on your nerves? Maybe you could "take a break" from being her friend for a while, and see if that helps. But If your friend annoys you THAT much, then maybe the only thing you can do is stop being her friend. good luck!
Love,
Mikey boy.
xxx
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Dear Mike,
I'm usually veeeeeeery quiet when im with my friends, and i sometimes feel ignored and forgotten =[
what can I do to make them notice me?
Love,
Invisible
x

Dear Invisible,
Awkward, huh? Don't worry, I got it all the time. You could maybe try and do something different! Wear your hair in a different style, something like that. If it really gets bad, maybe try and find some new people to hang out with for a day or so, and help make your friends realise how much they need you!
Good Luck! Love and Rock,
Mike xx

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Dear Mike,
There's this guy I like, yeah? Well, whenever I get on msn and he's on, he goes offline almost straight away, and whenever I send him a text, he never replies, even if it's one wishing him good luck for something. The last time I heard from him was on Valentines Day, in the form of a Text. Should I try once more, or let him go?

Much Love,
Admiring from Afar xx

#1 tree hugger,
yesh, oftentimes.
one memorable time involved tre, japanese tourists and lots of camera's...(True Story!!!Only without Tre )
Little Mikey
PS Thx for the bass playing compliment!

Help me Mike!!!
i'm bi- girl, but i've fallen in love with a guy who's gay, and who i haven't seen for nearly a year (we use MSN to keep in touch).
WTF should i do???
insane+insecure
PS my best friend worhips you...

sorry, about the above, missed the last page off....
Amiring from Afar,
play it cool!
he may be too scared to admit he likes you...yet.
give him space, be friendly BUT DON'T BE errm, OVER THE TOP WITH YOUR AFFECTIONS!!!
guys aren't like us, they need space and time to work these things out
hope it helps,
Likkle Mikey.

Help me Mike!!!
i'm a bi- girl, but i've fallen in love with a guy who's gay, and who i haven't seen for nearly a year (we use MSN to keep in touch). he lives far apart from me.
WTF should i do???
insane+insecure
PS my best friend worhips you...

serialgreendayaddict:

Help me Mike!!!
i'm a bi- girl, but i've fallen in love with a guy who's gay, and who i haven't seen for nearly a year (we use MSN to keep in touch). he lives far apart from me.
WTF should i do???
insane+insecure
PS my best friend worhips you...

Eat a muffin and forget about it!
-Mike

Dear Mike,
I am really bored. What should I do?

Dear Anonymous,
Make a stupid youtube video of yourself doing something lame. If you dont have a video camera, climb on a strangers roof and run away before the cops get there.
Love Bass God.

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Dear Mike-O-Saur
I feel like I'm falling behind in life and I don't know how I can possibly become successful. How can I get my life back on track?
- Your biggest fan EVER

Arcane-Inamorata:

Dear Anonymous,
Make a stupid youtube video of yourself doing something lame. If you dont have a video camera, climb on a strangers roof and run away before the cops get there.
Love Bass God.

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Dear Mike-O-Saur
I feel like I'm falling behind in life and I don't know how I can possibly become successful. How can I get my life back on track?
- Your biggest fan EVER

success doesn't really matter if you are doing what you love.
unless it matters for you.
ask yourself why your life is going off the rails, and if some of its stuff you can't change then concentrate on the stuff you can change.
Mike-o-saur
(wow! first a plant species, then mike becomes a dinosaur 0_o)

dear the-mike-person-who-isn't-really-mike,
i have just been chatted up by a good friends ex.(BF)
i'm kinda interested, but...
IT'S MY FRIENDS EX!!!
SHE WAS HEARTBROKEN FOR DAYS AND SHE STILL LIKES HIM!!!
exuse me while i go tear my hair out in private,
the Thing
(Things are much greater than Its)

To Mike,

Help me get a girlfriend. I go to a dude school so that makes it even harder.

Bob

serialgreendayaddict:

dear the-mike-person-who-isn't-really-mike,
i have just been chatted up by a good friends ex.(BF)
i'm kinda interested, but...
IT'S MY FRIENDS EX!!!
SHE WAS HEARTBROKEN FOR DAYS AND SHE STILL LIKES HIM!!!
exuse me while i go tear my hair out in private,
the Thing
(Things are much greater than Its)

Dear Thingy,
you can't do that. It's taboo!

And now go on with the dude-above-me's question xD

Complete Savage:

To Mike,

Help me get a girlfriend. I go to a dude school so that makes it even harder.

Bob

Dear Bob,
Is there anywhere you could hang out?
like...local gigs and stuff like Gilmans?
there's plenty of grrrls there
and don't be scared - they don't bite...much
Love,
Mikey
x
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Dear Mike,
My friend's dating my ex (bad idea, i know) even though he's "bad news" and an asshole. How can I make her see how he really is?
Love,
Livia from the moon
x

dudette from the moon
(can i come and live with you there?)
you'll just have to wait and be supportive when the guy's exposed.
he will be.
tre will help you by giving you the force
don't bitch.
she won't thank you for it
and FOR MIKE'S SAKE DON'T SAY I TOLD YOU SO!
moumou.

dear moumou-sh,
i don't have a problem.
you have solved everything.
thankyou to everyone on the board.
here is my friends problem:
moumou,
i met this guy on holiday, and we kissed. quite a lot.
but when we got home i found out he lives in London(i live in Stafford)
and HE ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
hlep me please...
demented & disturbed.