Divorce

first, when i thought my parents could ever divorce, i was scared. it would make me feel sad, of course, but i'm not scared anymore. the thing that is "scaring" me is that we would have to move so i would lose my house, my pool, my little routine... but that's only material i guess. i just don't want to lose my friends. cause we're living near and it's easy to see eachothers. but well, those kind of things happens.

at one moment i thought my parents were through i was very angry... but it passed they peaced out...

my parents got divorced when i was7 or 8. it was kinda a big deal then, but worse thigns have happened since, so i dont see it as a very big deal.

well my parents only got married in the first place because of me. i was an accident and when mum got pregnant with me at 18 yrs old they felt they had to. they divorced 5 yrs ago but i think divorce is far too easy for people these days. marriage would be much more symbolic if it couldn't be destroyed at the call of a lawyer.

my perents devorced when i was ten. and i still remember the arguments befor it and the bitching afterwards. i moved in with my dad when i was 13 even tho my mum didnt want me to. sometimes i wish i hadn't. he was realy messed up by it and i felt i had to take care of him. make him feel better which is alot for a 13 year old to handle. i couldnt with the stress of the devorce and my dads constant emotiol dumpin on me i cracked. i streted cutting and drinking alot when i was 14 after only a year with him. i could see why my mum devorced him.

i still live with him and both my perents get on realy well now. every one in my family (i have 3 bros and 1 sis) have been afected by it but it wont ruen our lives. yes for awhil after we where all sevearly afected and we all delt with it in our own ways. i tryed to help as much as i could. my sister who was 6 tryed to work out ways of getting them back to gethere. one day she just grabed there hands and made them hold hands with each other. Ian her twin went off in to his own world and pretended to be a tiger for about 2 years. luke who was 8 just went quiet and ate alot. and my big bro kyle who was 17 continued doing drugs and getting in to fights. it was shit but we all are over it. it made me work harder at relationships i wont give up at the first sign of trouble and my big bro is coming up to his 3rd anerversary in september.

its a horibul thing to happen and i thing that perants do think about their children when they do it imagen being stuck in a house that you where scaird of. when my perant fought we would always hide in our bed rooms or fource ourselvs to sleep throu it. id rathere have two quiet houses than one like that again.

See now,my parents don't get on at all,they argue constantly and sometimes my dad gets violent - i hate it.It does not effect how me and my brother are treated though.But because my dad doesn't believe in divorce,my mum is 'trapped'.He doesen't want to loose me (or my bro but he is 18 so it wouldent really affect him).So instead i have to live with this kinda 'atmosphere'.There is no point in being in a marrige for the sake of it. Woulden't all kids want their parent s to be happy,rather than making them stay in a relationship that they are not commitied in just for you? I'd feel guilty.I'd like my parents to be happy - if they get a divorce i know that it won't change the way in which they feel about me, and they have lives too so why should we make them miserable just for us?.
Personaly,i don't understand,what is the point in living with someone who you don't love or who doesen't love you.You are just wasting their time aswell as your own.If you divorce then you can still see both of your children and personaly i think that it brings family's closer together.You just make each others lives hell - there is no point.I'd like my parents to get a divorce - that way i woulden't have to live with an uncomfortable atmosphere and i'd have a better relationship with my dad.
On the otherhand,i can see how some people might hate it if they are living with their parents and all ofa sudden their family is split up and things begin to change.
I think that a divorce will only effect you in the way that it happens.If it's a gradual,mutral,calm one then it won't be bad and may bring a family closer. But if it's when a parent just leaves on spare of the moment and things chgange suddenly then of course it will have a big effect on you.

My parents divorced when i was 9 and now i'm 15. i used to see my dad every wednesday and sunday. Then he used to fone me on a wednesday and see me on a sunday. Then he didnt call at all during the week and i just saw him on a sunday and now most sundays i never see him because he's busy and i think that it might come to the point where i dont see him at all soon. I'm really worried he got remarried in september and its been ever since then. Okay i'm nearly cryin now, S**t. Also my mum has a boyfriend and he's moved in now. And i dont get on with him or my family that well most of the time, my mums always telling me to do stuff around the house and not letting me go out to places because i'm partially sighted but its not that bad i can see where i'm going and everything.

Worried Beef:

See now,my parents don't get on at all,they argue constantly and sometimes my dad gets violent - i hate it.It does not effect how me and my brother are treated though.But because my dad doesn't believe in divorce,my mum is 'trapped'.He doesen't want to loose me (or my bro but he is 18 so it wouldent really affect him).So instead i have to live with this kinda 'atmosphere'.There is no point in being in a marrige for the sake of it. Woulden't all kids want their parent s to be happy,rather than making them stay in a relationship that they are not commitied in just for you? I'd feel guilty.I'd like my parents to be happy - if they get a divorce i know that it won't change the way in which they feel about me, and they have lives too so why should we make them miserable just for us?.
Personaly,i don't understand,what is the point in living with someone who you don't love or who doesen't love you.You are just wasting their time aswell as your own.If you divorce then you can still see both of your children and personaly i think that it brings family's closer together.You just make each others lives hell - there is no point.I'd like my parents to get a divorce - that way i woulden't have to live with an uncomfortable atmosphere and i'd have a better relationship with my dad.
On the otherhand,i can see how some people might hate it if they are living with their parents and all ofa sudden their family is split up and things begin to change.
I think that a divorce will only effect you in the way that it happens.If it's a gradual,mutral,calm one then it won't be bad and may bring a family closer. But if it's when a parent just leaves on spare of the moment and things chgange suddenly then of course it will have a big effect on you.

I think it will always have an efect on the kids no mater how it happens it dosnt always have to be a bad efect it could make the kids happier becaus there is no longer any abuse. but you knever foget when your told that your perents are getting a devorce nomatter how hard you try. devorce is somthing realy big to any kid.

My parents divorced when I was two. I am not in contact with my father and have no recollection of him. My mother remarried and had two children with this man. They divorced when I was, eh, 9-ish. She dated one man for 2 years, he moved in with us, ended up being an ass, my mum threw him out. I was 11 or 12. Now another man and my mum have bought a house together. How will this turn out? Who knows...not me....

Anyways, yeah, I do think it has caused me some emotional problems. Words really hurt me. When people yell (not just at me) I am often on the verge of tears. Even when its something small. I am also rather afraid of relationships. I've turned down guys that I really like for the simple reason that I'm afraid of what will happen. Its like I want to be in a relationship but when the opportunity comes around I cant face that. The fact that my mum had her first child at 16 scares me (and the child was conceived [sp?] when she was 15...she was only two years older then I am now....wow). But, I also don’t want to face the emotional aspects of a relationship. I have problems communicating because I am afraid of sounding....dumb. At the same time I think I have become desensitized to things and paranoid about others. On the outside I appear outgoing but on a more inner, emotional level I am so...introverted. I have a horrible fear of failing and disappointing the ones who care about me.

Man, I have never actually said (umm, typed...confessed) any of this.

I still think if you really require a divorces you should get one. But, people shouldnt become so desensitized about it.

greenday_grl_1989:

my parents have been divorced since I was eight years old. I'm sixteen now, but I'm just starting to realize the full effect of what that divorce has done to me. I'm just so emotionally ruined, and I never realized it until now. My father was the one who left us and lately he has started to come around, act like a parent almost. But he only did it because he left the women he divorced my mother for, and now he used my mother and myself again just as an emotional rebound, he's already found an old gf that will have him back. I just can't handle his emotional strain, and it's really starting to effect my other relationships with family and friends. I dont even now what it feels like to love anymore. I thought if I could discuss my situation with others like myself, I could start heeling a little...anyone else have the same problems?

i had noticed that i went through a bunch of problems after my parents divorced.....well not until about last year....but i became REALLY depressed until just recently...and i started failing school....i was very far ahead of other people in class until then...yea it sucks...but you'll live....i think the failure of our parents' generation will open the eyes of ours and we will kick ass! hiya!
that was kinda lame...but just try to get through life till you can move out....

rar:

greenday_grl_1989:

my parents have been divorced since I was eight years old. I'm sixteen now, but I'm just starting to realize the full effect of what that divorce has done to me. I'm just so emotionally ruined, and I never realized it until now. My father was the one who left us and lately he has started to come around, act like a parent almost. But he only did it because he left the women he divorced my mother for, and now he used my mother and myself again just as an emotional rebound, he's already found an old gf that will have him back. I just can't handle his emotional strain, and it's really starting to effect my other relationships with family and friends. I dont even now what it feels like to love anymore. I thought if I could discuss my situation with others like myself, I could start heeling a little...anyone else have the same problems?

i had noticed that i went through a bunch of problems after my parents divorced.....well not until about last year....but i became REALLY depressed until just recently...and i started failing school....i was very far ahead of other people in class until then...yea it sucks...but you'll live....i think the failure of our parents' generation will open the eyes of ours and we will kick ass! hiya!
that was kinda lame...but just try to get through life till you can move out....

Yeah, last school year, it all caught up with me. I didnt really have any problems before then. I began getting C's and B's last year when I had had straight A's my entire life before. My mum doesn't even seam to want to help me. She avoids the subject and bothers me about my grades. In some ways I wish I could go to a shrink....

yeah, divorce sucks. but people change and they find that they cant live with/be married/speak to the person they used to love soo much. yeah my parents are divorced, no, they dont speak to one another...but my dad is bitter, and so eerytime i get into his truck, he starts bitching and even though theres nothing i can do about it, i still have to listen...my mom just wants him to get over it...but what the hell do they think i can do about it? nothing. my friends parents recently got divorced, but it was a pretty good move for her family...all her parents ever did was fight, and now they dont see each other so often to do that. they get along a lot better now.

if you think a shrink would help you, talk to your mother about it...she wants you to succeed, and if that means you need to talk to a shrink, then that might be a possibility, but you have to tell her that youve been thinking about that...she cant read your mind.

my parents are not divorced, while we have gone through some rough times...like almost ready for divorce kinda things not little stupid arguments.
I have alot of friends who have divorced parents and they are truly different, they have less control of their actions, and little sense of right and wrong, just because one person alone cant raise a child. People should think first before they get married.

My parents aren't divorced... But they're not married. They still live together but it's really scary because they fight so much, and my Dad storms out.. Sometimes i worry he won't come back..
He also has a wife somewhere in the world... when they married i don't think divorce was legal here... he had an affair with the woman i now call Mom... it's scary stuff.

greenday_grl_1989:

my parents have been divorced since I was eight years old. I'm sixteen now, but I'm just starting to realize the full effect of what that divorce has done to me. I'm just so emotionally ruined, and I never realized it until now. My father was the one who left us and lately he has started to come around, act like a parent almost. But he only did it because he left the women he divorced my mother for, and now he used my mother and myself again just as an emotional rebound, he's already found an old gf that will have him back. I just can't handle his emotional strain, and it's really starting to effect my other relationships with family and friends. I dont even now what it feels like to love anymore. I thought if I could discuss my situation with others like myself, I could start heeling a little...anyone else have the same problems?

I know how you feel. My parents divorced when i was about 4 and when i was 10... my mom had gotten remarried and had my little sister... and my dad disapreared so he wouldn't have to pay child sapport and the emotional strain it made hit me really bad and i had to go to counciling and all this other stuff.... i was there when they had that fight too that made them file for it too.... it was about the woman who is not my step mom that my dad left my mom for.... it still hurts.... 13 years later... but if you need to talk about it or something... you can PM me.

Ok well reading all these has been weird for me, see im 15, most people it seems like got their parents divorce put on them at 8 or around then. Well my parents arent technically divorced yet. My dad came back from visiting his mom(who lives in florida) right after his dad died and his mom had a heart-attack. He came back 10 days later on a tuesday, the next day(wed) him and my mom talked for about 1-2 hours and then friday my mom told me he wanted a seperation and he was going to move back down to Florida to be with his mom. He moved out the day before the 4th of July(sunday) and i think it screwed my mom up a lil bit. she used to yell at me at least 4 times a week, now i barley get yelled at, yea it may be a good thing but it has affected my mom more then i could imagine. And they said if they get a divorce it will be in Feb. and it will most likly be rounf my b-day(its valentines day). Its not my dads first divorce either. He has had one other and he had my step sis who lives with her mom, then got married to my mom when she was 18 and had me, my brother who died at 5 i was 6 and my younger brother who is 6. I know long story, but i think its bull shit people randomly decide when to get divorces! I will handle it but im scared for my brother hes starting 1st grade, and he isnt gonna have a dad to look up to or anything, not like i would want him to. I talk to my dad about once a week, and i might see him over xmas not shure.

k im done with this, if ya feel like it pm me
-Ashlie(or Ashleigh)

my dad walked out when i was 3 weeks old and divorced soon after. I never knew my dad until just over a year ago when i met him for the first time. It has been so much harder than i thought it would be and everything in my life is fucked up right now because of it (it's in my journal i don't really want to put it here as well).

However i suppose it was kinda brave for him to leave if he was unhappy. I don't know it might have been worse to have been raised in an unhappy family, with many arguements and perhaps even physical violence. I think people should be more careful about marriage, but my parents were together for 6 years and married for 7 before they divorced, so I can't really accuse them of rushing into things.

people should really THINK, long and hard before they decide to get married, becuase if they do get divorced if they happen to have children, your basically screwed them over by doing so. my mom divorced my dad when i was 1. he died when i was 2. and i cant help but wonder, if they hadnt divorced, would he have been in that car that night, or would he have been home with my brother and I? and it pisses me off when my mom can talk about his death like its nothing. just last week she was tlaking to me about drunk driving cause i was going to go somewhere with my friend and her parents are alchoholics.

she was like "Your father was and alcoholic and he died from it! he trusted someone, someone who was drunk, to drive him home one night and he died. He's gone because of drinking and driving"
I just stared at her thinking how she could possibly say that to my face while i'm crying because of what she said.
i looked at her and told her "Don't you DARE talk about my father like that. Just because YOU dont love him doesnt mean i dont. The fact that you keep repeating that he's dead isnt helping me any!"

I dont think parents really think how much it affects their kids.

i dont think parents think things all the way thru i think they also make mistakes like they did when they were younger, like my parents had been together for 16 year i believe, well at least married, and you wouldnt think they would seperate but apperantly anything can happen!

I was 12 when my parents divorced. I'm 20 now, so it was long ago. I'm still affected by it, I don't really remember how it was when my mom and dad were married but I feel out of place at my Dad's since I have a step mom and My dad seems to care more for my sis... I don't blame him, but when he seems to not care for my brother too, then I get pissed. Okay, sorry for the sob story. Divorce is weird, having step mothers is also VERY strange. I can never talk to her and she yells in a creepy voice, I usually can't hear her when she talks regular.