Ask Armstrong!

AuthorMessage
dogaholic
King For A Couple Of Days
dogaholic
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4198
November 27th, 2006 at 01:08pm
Dear Lil Bow-withouttampons

Ask the great Norwegian(?) dog trainer - Inki Sjosten, I'm sure she will help you. If not, just say "Bad dog" instead of "No".

Love,

Billie Joe

---------
Dear Billie Joe,

I am addicted to chocolate but I'm very fat. because of that I have no friends. What shall I do?

Love,

Chocolatemaniac
RebelofSuburbia
Falling In Love With The Board
RebelofSuburbia
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 6885
November 27th, 2006 at 03:25pm
Dear maniac,

Everybody loves chocolate, even we do. Hell, I can't imagine Tre without his chocolate milk. So, what I'd suggest you to do, is go and find someone who is willing to eat a bar of chocolate with you. Shouldn't be that hard.

Love,
BJ

PS: I really love chocolate too

---------

Dear Billie Joe,

My friends are changing and I don't like it. I don't wanna lose them but I don't really like to spend time with them anymore either. But yet they don't seem to understand me. WHat do I do?

Love,
Im-your-friend
Lissie!
Falling In Love With The Board
Lissie!
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 7305

Blog
November 27th, 2006 at 04:15pm
Dear Im-Your-Friend
In what way do they change? All people change. It usually happens around your teens. If they change in dumb ways - we all know what I'm on about - or if they change for new people, fuck them. Shit happens, things go wrong, people change, LIFE GOES ON. Be strong buddy :]
Love Billie Joe.

Dear PHILLIE
I'm obsessed with Adrienne. What shall I do?
Love,
IWISHIWASGERARDWAY
lawrah . shuddup
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
lawrah . shuddup
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4
November 27th, 2006 at 04:47pm
Dear Billie Joe,
I saw a cat having sex with a frog the other day. Since then I've been farting non stop (not true obviously)
What should i do?
Lissie!
Falling In Love With The Board
Lissie!
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 7305

Blog
November 28th, 2006 at 11:29am
L a w r a h ?:
Dear Billie Joe,
I saw a cat having sex with a frog the other day. Since then I've been farting non stop (not true obviously)
What should i do?
GAH.
READ THE RULES Hand
Regular Frankie Fan
Falling In Love With The Board
Regular Frankie Fan
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 7530

Mibba
November 29th, 2006 at 09:59am
Dear IWISHIWASGERARDWAY,
I'm obsessed with Adrienne, too. Welcome to the party! Whoo! But if I may offer one bit of advice, don't do what Mark David Chapman did. KTHX.

Love, Bill.

Dear B.J.,
It finally snowed and now I'm starting to feel Christmas depression getting to me. Any suggestions on how to beat these blues?

Thanks,

Frankie The Grouch.
One Nut Wonder
Geek
One Nut Wonder
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 304

Mibba
November 29th, 2006 at 06:27pm
Dear Frankie the Grouch,
Being couped up inside because of the snow can get depressing. Just listen to Green Day and if that gets boring(gasp how could you?) maybe just go outside and start a huge ass snowball fight.
Snowfully yours,
Bille Joe
-------
Dear Billie Joe,
I am getting in constant trouble at my school. It isn't even my fault I swear! Some girl flooded the restoom while I was in there. She escaped and went and told the eachers I did it. Now they don't trust me alone in the bathroom anymore. Can you help me?
Sincerely,
NeverAlone(in the bathroom)
Reality Is Due
Post Whore
Reality Is Due
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 24633

Mibba
November 29th, 2006 at 06:47pm
Dear NeverAlone (in the bathroom),

I say lock her in a bathroom and have it flooded. Then go tell the teachers not only did she flood the bathroom, but she some of her "unwanted business" came back up after flushing it back up.

Sincerely,
Billie Joe the Smartass

------
Dear Billie Joe,

What do you think about me,you,Adie and that measuring tape from the new magazine shoot get together sometime? ~~

Sincerely,
IWANTYOURBEEF
Regular Frankie Fan
Falling In Love With The Board
Regular Frankie Fan
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 7530

Mibba
December 6th, 2006 at 11:52am
Dear YOUWANTMYBEEF,

Adie and I are up for it, but I regret to report that the tape measure is having second thoughts. It's afraid it's not long enough. But perhaps after some counseling, the tape measure can revisit this issue.

Sincerely, Joe.

--------

Dear B-to-the-J,

I think I've been fooling myself for a while. I bought a guitar about a year ago, thinking that I'd pick it up quickly and be rocking out even just a little bit by now. Well, I haven't touched it in six months and I'd be lucky to be able to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" at this point. Sigh. I fail at life. I guess the relevant conundrum is this: Do I keep it and keep at it or do I sell it and go back to the instrument I KNOW I can play, the drums? I was told by another drummer in high school I was freakishly talented at them because I can play songs by ear. Dno
Help me, Billie! Pray

DrummerGirl.
Bob hunts bees.
Geek
Bob hunts bees.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 187
December 15th, 2006 at 09:42pm
this is an awsome thread!
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 15th, 2006 at 11:10pm
Dear DrummerGirl,

What the hell is wrong with you? If you want to play the guitar, then play the guitar. Just keep playing random notes and chords or whatever until you can play songs. Buy easy lesson books and take as long as you want to make sure each of those kiddie-lesson-songs sounds perfect. Practice once a week, at least. Take it out of its case and lovingly gaze at it once a day. But don't you dare sell it. I will hunt you down if you do. Hell, you get real good at it, I may even sign it for you! Wink

Keep playing,
BJ

-------------------------------------

Dear Billie,

I have a most major problem. Well, no not really, but it seems pretty huge. There's a dude. I might like him. I like having him around and talking to him and stuff. He might like me, too. Thing is, I'm not sure. I even wrote a poem about how I'm not sure about this whole "thing". I cannot cannot tell him. Because I go to a really small school and if someone found out and was rejected, it would mean unending humiliation. So what do I do?

Love,
Fear of Rejection.
Sumthin Smushi
Idiot
Sumthin Smushi
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 707
December 16th, 2006 at 10:35am
Dear Fear of Rejection,
First of all, what u need to do is straighten out your thoughts and feelings, since your not sure of the whole thing in the first place. Ask yourself why u like this guy and what are the good things about him and whats not. that will lead u to ur final answer and help u figure out if u like him or not. if u do, then consider telling him about how u feel. if he's a good friend that u can talk to like u say u do, then he'd probably understand. remeber the reason why u liked him in the first place, im sure he wont freak out on u, that IS if he is a good friend. if u do decide to make ur move, MAKE SURE he's worth it! and dont worry about what people will say after that...i mean...what do they know? they're just being A-holes!

Love,
BJ

--------------------------------------

Dear Billie Joe,
for the past 4 years, i was a real heavy smoker. but i recently quit with 2 of my friends. i didnt have a cigg for 25 days. now i find out that my friends strated smoking again, and i have to quit all alone, and its freakin me out!! now im startin to think that i didnt quit for myself, but for my firneds, who backed out on me. im under alot of pressure and all i can think about is having a smoke to calm down my nerves...what should i do??

love,
Miss Marlboro 2
garrett nickelsen.
Geek
garrett nickelsen.
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 122

Mibba Blog
December 16th, 2006 at 07:03pm
Dear Miss Marlboro 2,
maybe try a nicotine patch, or try replacing smoking with something else, like chewing gum, every time you feel the urge to smoke, take piece of gum and chew it. I hope this helps
Love,
Billie Joe

___________________________________

Dear Billie Joe,

I like one of my best friends, as more than a friend. He leads on that he likes me, like flirting and shit, but when my friends ask him out for me he says no and asks all mean to me, but when its just me and him and other close friends hes the same old caring guy, its confusing the HELL outta me. I dont know which is the real him and i also want to ask him out, but am afraid of him saying no and hating me. Please help

Love,
confused heart
Milk
King For A Couple Of Days
Milk
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3741

Mibba Blog
December 17th, 2006 at 02:52am
Dear confused heart,
You should probably talk to him, and if he is a true friend, he will never hate you. It may be awkward for awhile, but he'll get over it.
Love, Billie
-------------------
Dear Billie Joe.
My nailpolish gets chipped not like, 2 minutes after I put it on. What should I do to fix this?
Love, Krysta =)
Mary'sX ChemicalX Romance
King For A Couple Of Days
Mary'sX ChemicalX Romance
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2112
December 17th, 2006 at 01:00pm
Dear Krstya,
If i were you i wouldn't touch anything after you paint them. If that doesn't work then your nails just probably don't like being painted.
Good Luck!
BJ
---
Dear Billie,
I have a friend thats a guy and my other friends think i like him, but i don't. What can i do?
Love Mary =) <3
Micro Sheep
Falling In Love With The Board
Micro Sheep
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 7584
December 19th, 2006 at 09:13am
Dear Mary,

Slap him in public to show others that you don't like him

love BJ

--------------
Dear Beej,

why did you dye your hair?(not that you're not still awesome)

love
blackhairpwnseverything
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 19th, 2006 at 09:35am
Dear blackhairpwnseverything,

I'm flattered that you like my 'do, but this thread is for asking me advice on your problems. There are other threads to ask me about me. But since I'm so damn awesome, I'll answer you. I dye my hair because I can.

Lurve,
Billie Schmo.

-------------------------------------

Dear Billie Joe,

I'm scared. Like, really scared. I think there's a dude. Under my bed. He has a gun. Mommy. Can you please call 911 for me? Thanks.

Love,
Scaredtodeath.
The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
The Doctor
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 8786

Mibba Blog
December 19th, 2006 at 12:22pm
Dear Scaredtodeath.

That's no murder, that's Tré. Give him some cheetos once a month and he's sweet as a nut. No pun intended.

Bj.

----

Dear Billie,

How did you propose to Adie? Was it romantic? Need ideas.

-In Love
emo_kid_luvs_gd
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
emo_kid_luvs_gd
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 18
December 29th, 2006 at 11:02am
dear Joan Greenwood,
well.....tre gave me the ideea.....i went 2 her house......knoked at the door...and when she opened i asked "adie.....will u marry me?...PLEASE......"
love,
BJ

dear Billie,
what's ur favourite kind of porn? Shake
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
lyrical_mess
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278

Mibba Blog
December 29th, 2006 at 11:28am
I tire of this. Go to the first page of this thread and read the rules. I do not appreciate that some people still just post random Billie-related questions despite the fact that this thread is for you, whoever you are-related questions. The next person to post will be a makeshift Billie and answer whatever problem you have and then ask a question themselves. Capiche?
Register